Interpersonal Communication

Semantic Rules

Reflect the ways in which users of a language assign meaning to a particular linguistic symbol, usually a word.

Equivocal Language

Consists of statements that have more than one commonly accepted definition.

Relative Words

Gain their meaning by comparison. Example is large and small, fast and slow.

Static Evaluation

Is an incorrect belief that people are consistent and unchanging.

Abstract Language

Is vague in nature. Not specific

Behavioral Language

Refers to specific things that people say or do.

Syntactic Rules

Govern the grammar of a language

Convergence

The process of adapting one's speech style to match that of others.

Divergence

Speaking in a way that emphasizes their differences from others.

Hedges

Example of powerless language. I THINK we should, I GUESS I'd like to

Hesitations

Example of powerless language. UH, can I have a minute of your time?, WELL, we could try this idea

Intensifiers

Example of powerless language. I'm REALLY glad to see you. I'm not VERY hungry.

Polite Forms

Example of powerless language. Excuse me, SIR.

Tag Questions

Example of powerless language. It's about time we got started, ISN'T IT?
DON'T YOU THINK we should give it another try?

Disclaimers

Is a type of powerless speech that attmepts to distance a speaker from remarks that might be unwelcome. I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY THIS, BUT. I'M NOT REALLY SURE, BUT...

Fact-Opinion Confusion

Presenting your opinions as if they were facts. Example, YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY (FACT). YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME.(OPINION)

Fact-Inference Confusion

confusing factual statements with inferential statements, conclusions arrived from an interpretation of evidence. Arguments often result when we label our inferences as facts.

Emotive Language

Seems to describe something but actually announces the speaker's attitude toward it.

Language of Responsibility

It statements avoid responsibility for ownership of a message, attributing it instead to some unidentified source. But statements are confusing, the word but cancels the thought that precedes it. I language is responsible and you language is expresses a j

Repeating

non verbal function. People remember comments accompanied by gestures more than those made with words alone.

Complementing

non verbal function. Saying something like "Thank You " with a sincere facial expression and tone of voice.

Substituting

non verbal function. Faced with a message you find disagreeable, you might sigh, roll your eyes, or yawn when speaking out would not be appropriate.

Accenting

non verbal function. pointing an accusing finger adds emphasis to criticism. Then adding words with the voice "It was YOUR idea.

Regulating

non verbal function. by nodding, indicating I understand or looking away signaling a lack of attention.

Contradicting

non verbal function. Messengers face or body language reads one way while they say something different.

Leakage

non verbal deception clue. Inadvertant signals of deception. Pupil dilation, speech patterns. Liars leak nonverbal cues of deception in some situations more than others.

Types of Nonverbal communication

Body orientation, posture, gestures, face and eyes, voice, touch, appearance, physical space, physical environment, and time.

Body Orientation

the degree to which we face toward or away from someone with our body, feet, and head.

Gestures

Movement of the hands and arms.

Three types of gestures

illustrators, emblems and adaptors. Illustrators are movements that are accompanied by speech. Emblems are non verbal behaviors that have a precise meaning known to everyone. Adaptors are unconscious bodily movements in response to the environment.

Voice - Paralanguage

The way a message is spoken.

Listening

To attend to. Is a process of 3 things.
Receiving, assigning meaning to (decoding), responding to verbal and non verbal messages

Elements in the Listening Process

Hearing, attending, understanding, responding, remembering

Pseudolistening

type of ineffective listening. Gives the appearance of being attentive. Their minds are elsewhere.

Stage-Hogging

Turn the topic of conversation to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker.

Selective Listening

Respond only to the parts of your remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else.

Insulated Listening

Instead of looking for specific information, these people avoid it. They rather not deal with it.

Defensive Listening

Take other remarks as personal attacks.

Ambushing

they listen carefully to you but only because they are collecting information they will use to attack you.

Insensitive Listening

Respond to the superficial content in the message but miss the more important emotional information that may not be expressed directly.

Message overload

when you are bombarded with information.

Preoccupation

wrapped up in personal concerns that seem more important than the message the others are sending.

Rapid Thought

Mental spare time while someone is talking. daydreaming

Effort

heart rate quickens, respiration increases, and body temperature rises.

External noise

outside distraction

Faulty Assumptions

when you assume that a speaker's thoughts are too simple or too obvious to deserve careful attention when in fact they do.

Lack of Apparent Advantages

Cutting people off when they are speaking

Lack of Training

Listening is a skill

Hearing problems

a persons listening ability suffers from a physiological hearing problem.

Prompting

involves using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw others out.

Questioning

has been called the most popular piece of language. Asking for information can help both the person doing the asking and the one providing answers. Sincere questions are aimed at understanding. Counterfeit questions are aimed at sending a message, not rec

Paraphrasing

statements that reword the listener's interpretation of a message

Supporting

Reveals a listener's solidarity with the speaker's situation.

Analyzing

the listener offers an interpretation of a speaker's message. Example is " I think what's really bothering you is...

Advising

to help by offering a solution.

Judging

evaluates the sender's thoughts or behaviors in some way.

Key to being an effective listener

demonstrate understanding. Sometimes it can be a non verbal, clarifying questions, paraphrasing, reflection, content, emotions, and questions.

Descriptive vs Judgemental/Inference Language

Descriptive is specific and Judgemental/Inference is subjective