opening line
My, that kitchen's hot.
PENNY. What, Essie?
I say the kitchen's awful hot. That new candy I'm making -- it just won't ever get cool.
PENNY. Do you have to make candy today, Essie? It's such a hot day.
Well, I got all those new orders. Ed went out and got a bunch of new orders.
PENNY. My, if it keeps on I suppose you'll be opening up a store
That's what Ed was saying last night, but I said "No, I want to be a dancer".
PENNY. The only trouble with dancing is, it takes so long. You've been studying such a long time.
Only�eight�years. After all, Mother, you've been writing plays for eight years. We started about the same time, didn't we?
RHEBA. I think the candy's hardening up now, Miss Essie.
Oh, thanks, Rheba. I'll bring some in, Mother� I want you to try it.
RHEBA. Oh, I always liked that one-the war play. Boom, boom!
They'll be better when they're harder, Mother, but try one�I want to know what you think.
PENNY. Oh, they look lovely. What do you call them?
I think I'll call 'em Love Dreams.
PENNY. Yes, that's nice... I'm going back to my war play, Essie. What do you think?
Oh, are you, Mother?
PENNY. Yes, I sort of got myself into a monastery and I can't get out.
Oh, well, it'll come to you, Mother. Remember how you got out of that brothel... The snakes look hungry. Did Rheba feed them?
PAUL. Mr. De Pinna was right about the balloon. It was too close to the powder.
Want a Love Dream, Father? They're on the table.
PAUL. Oh, that's nice. We're putting some red stars after the bombs and then the balloon. That ought to do it.
You know, Mr. Kolenkhov says I'm his most promising pupil.
ED. Essie! Heh! Essie!
I like that, Ed. Did you write it?
ED. No, Beethoven.
Lovely. Got a lot of you in it... I made those new candies this afternoon, Ed.
ED. Yah?
You can take 'em around tonight.
ED. All right... Now, here's the finish. This is me. How's that?
That's fine. Remember it when Kolenkhov comes, will you?
ED. I don't know-we could have one if you wanted us to. What about it, Essie? Do you want to have a baby?
Oh, I don't care. I'm willing if Grandpa is.
GRANDPA. No, they just sit there in cap and nightgown, get their diplomas, and then along about forty years from now they suddenly say, "Where am I?
Hello, Grandpa. Have a nice day?
GRANDPA. Hello-have-a-nice-day. Don't I even get kissed?
Excuse me, Grandpa.
GRANDPA. I'll take a tomato, too. You know I could have used a couple of these this afternoon...
Father?
PAUL. No, thanks.
Mother?
ED. All right.
There was a letter came for you, Grandpa. Did you get it?
GRANDPA. Letter for me? I don't know anybody.
It was for you, though. Had your name on it.
GRANDPA. That's funny. Where is it?
I don't know. Where's Grandpa's letter, Mother?
PENNY. What, dear?
Where's that letter that came for Grandpa last week?
GRANDPA. Who was it from? Did you notice?
Yes, it was on the outside.
GRANDPA. Well, who was it?
United States Government
GRANDPA. Really? Wonder what they wanted.
There was one before that, too, from the same people. There was a couple of them.
GRANDPA. Well, if any more come I wish you'd give them to me.
Yes, Grandpa
ALICE. Hi, Grandpa�and what do you think? They turned into the Sycamore family. Surprised?
Oh, Alice, I like it.
ALICE. Do you?
It's new, isn't it?
PENNY. Looks nice and summery.
Where'd you get it?
ALICE. Really, Mother?
Ed, play Alice that Beethoven thing you wrote.
ALICE. Listen, people... Listen. I'm not home to dinner. A young gentleman is calling for me.
Really, who is it?
ALICE. No, he's vice-president of Kirby & Co. Mr. Anthony Kirby, Jr.
The boss's son?
ALICE. The boss's son. Just like the movies.
That explains the new dresses.
ALICE. Oh, of course. Tonight! Meanwhile I have to go up and put on my wedding dress.
Is he good looking?
GRANDPA. She seems to like him, if you ask me.
I should say so. She's got it bad.
PAUL. Young people are different nowadays.
Oh, I don't know. Look at Ed and me. He came to dinner once and just stayed.
GRANDPA. Oh, that's what those letters were.
I told you they were from the Government.
ED. Ah - twenty-eight dollars and fifty cents, wasn't it, Essie?
Yes, sir.
ED. How was that, Essie?
Fine, Ed.
PENNY. Yes, I will.
I hope he's good-looking.
TONY. Well, I know Father couldn't get along without Alice. She knows more about the business than any of us.
You're awful young, Mr. Kirby, aren't you, to be vice-president of a big place like that?
PENNY. You see?
You mustn't rush him, Mother.
RHEBA. Stepping, huh?
That must be Kolenkhov.
KOLENKHOV. Good evening, everybody!
Good evening
KOLENKHOV. Grandpa, what do you think? I have had a letter from Russia! The Second Five-Year Plan is a failure!
I practiced today, Mr. Kolenkhov!
ED. I thought he was a nice fellow, didn't you?
Mm. And so good-looking.
GRANDPA. Not if the snakes don't.
Oh, no, they'll want to get married in a church. His family and everything.
PENNY. Of course his family is going to want to come. Imagine. Alice marrying a Kirby!
Think of that. Isn't it exciting?
ED. All right, have it your way. She can't dance. That's why they pay her all that money... because she can't dance.
Well, I don't call that dancing what she does. Oh, hello! How was the ballet?
TONY. Hello
Look, what do you people think? Ed and I just saw Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Do you think she can dance, Mr. Kirby?
TONY. Why yes. I always thought so.
What does she do anyhow? Now look, you're Fred Astaire, and I'm Ginger Rogers.
ALICE. Essie, please!
I only want to use him for a minute. Now look, Mr. Kirby...
ALICE. Essie, you're just as good as Ginger Rogers. We all agree.
You see, Ed?
ED, Yeh...Come on, Essie...we're butting in here.
Oh they've been together all evening...Good night, Mr. Kirby. Good night, Alice.
ED. Good night. Essie, did you ask Grandpa about us having a baby?
Oh yes- he said go right ahead.
GRANDPA. Next time you meet an actress on the top of a bus, Penny, I think I'd send her the play instead of bringing her home to read it.
Ed, I wish you'd stop printing and take those "Love Dreams" around. You've got to get back in time to play for me when Kolenkhov comes.
GRANDPA. Kolenkhov coming tonight?
Yes, tomorrow night's his night, but I had to change it on account of Alice.
PENNY. Isn't it exciting? You know I'm so nervous-- you'd think it was me he was engaged to instead of Alice.
What do you think they'll be like-- his mother and father? ... Ed, what are you doing now?
ED. Well, the last two days, when I've been out delivering candy, I think a man's been following me.
Ed, you're crazy.
ED. You see?
Oh, it might have been anybody, walking along the street. Ed, will you hurry and get back?
ALICE. Essie, dear, you're going to give Rheba the kitchen all day tomorrow, aren't you? Because she'll need it.
Of course, Alice. I'm going to start some Love Dreams now, so I'll be 'way ahead.
KOLENKHOV. He has escaped. he has escaped and gone back to Moscow. He will get them yet if they do not get him. The Soviet government! I could take the whole Soviet government and�grrah!
I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Kolenkhov. I'll get into my dancing clothes right away.
GAY. Wo-o-o!
PENNY. Oh, dear.
Sorry, Mr. Kolenkhov. I couldn't find my slippers.
GRANDPA. He was too late!
Mr. Kolenkhov! Mr. Kolenkhov!
KOLENKHOV. If he had not relaxed the Grand Duchess Olga Katrina would not be selling baked beans today.
Mr. Kolenkhov!
TONY. Mother wouldn't miss that for the world. That blue ribbon is the high spot of her year.
I won a ribbon at a Flower Show once. For raising onions. Remember, Alice?
ALICE. That was a Garden Show, Essie.
Oh, yes.
PENNY. I'm sure dinner won't be any time at all now.
Would you like some candy while you're waiting, Mr. Kirby? I've got some freshly made.
KIRBY. My doctor does not permit me to eat candy. Thank you.
But these are nothing, Mr. Kirby. Just cocoanut and marshmallow and fudge.
ALICE. Don't, Essie.
Well-
KIRBY. I see... Your mother and I will be waiting for you at home... Good night.
Good night.
ED. Heh! What are you doing?
Ed!
PENNY. Oh my goodness! J-men!
Ed, what have you done?
THE MAN. And you put em imto boxes of candy to get em into people's homes.
The Love Dreams!
ED. My xylophone! How will I get the xylophone out?
Mr. Kolenkhov! Mr. Kolenkhov!
ALICE. Thank you.
Do you want to take some candy along for the train, Alice?
ALICE. ...a place you can bring your friends to�without�
I'll�see if I can do anything.
TONY. Alice, you're not being fair. At least let me talk to you.
Where'd they go?
ED. Upstairs.
She walked right out the minute he came in.
PENNY. That's all right, Mr. Kolenkhov.
I don't think I can take a lesson, Mr. Kolenkhov. I don't feel up to it.
PENNY. Mr. Kolenkhov, if you mean you'd like the Grand Duchess to come to dinner, why, we'd be honored.
Oh, yes!
GRAND DUCHESS. I do not mind. Where is your kitchen?
Right through here, but you're the guest of honor, Your Highness.
GRANDPA. I've been telling you that for years.
Grandpa, here's a letter for you. It was in the icebox.
GRANDPA. Let me see. The Government again.
How do you do, Mr. Kirby?
GRANDPA. The United States Government apologizes. I don't owe 'em a nickel; it seems I died eight years ago.
Why, what do they mean, Grandpa?
KIRBY. Like it? Why, it's my favorite dish.
Mr. Kirby, I'm going to dance for you later. I've got a new mazurka.