Nice Work- Eileen Lines

Okay! Mom's place.

Okay. How many rooms?

Whoa! But I thought you never use this place!

Now then, servant, take these bags to my room.

How dare you talk to my wife that way!

Jimsy, I don't even think this person realizes who he's in the presence of.

Why, this is Eileen Evergreen, the finest interpreter of modern dance in the whole world! Why she's so brilliant, when she steps in stage, no one has any idea what she's doing.

So little person, when we require you, with what name shall we beckon?

Name's McGee but my friends call me Cookie.

Cookie.

Cookie.

Cookie.

Cookie.

Like the tiny dessert?

Oh sweetheart, who cares, it's our honeymoon!

Oh Jimsy, kiss me!

Finally!

False alarm! I need breakfast first!

Boss, leave it to me to guard the cellar. I won't even let you down there! See ya later, toots. Oh, jeez.

And the honeymoon begins!

Finally, yes!

No! First, I want you to swear that I'm the only woman you've ever worshipped!

Oh, I swear!

Even though you've been married three times before?

Oh Roxie, Trixie, and Ginger meant nothing to me! Besides, Ginger was signing the annulment papers yesterday. I'm a free man!

I'm yours!

Yes!

No! I need to bathe first. And thence, this body- the most celebrated body in the American theatre- you will be the first man to ever touch it.

Really?

Give or take.

So was that educational?

Jimsy!

But Sweetheart, you must be done bathing by now! It's been four and a half hours...

Not quite, mon souffl�! Oh James Winter, scoot along while I pamper! Scoot, scoot, scoot! Pamper, pamper, pamper! Oh, Eileen.

Scram, scram, scram...

Ta-da! Entrance! Oh look at you, half-undressed and frothing!

You mean it's finally time for us to...

Not yet! First, I want the little servant to ready our honeymoon boudoir. Biscuit! Biscuit!

It's Cookie. And boss man, another telegram just came.

Really, Lorna Doone, is that the way you speak to your employer?

Oh my gosh! Ginger refused to sign the annulment papers! She want a bigger settlement!

You mean... I married you while you were still married to someone else!

Ha, ha, ha!

Oh my gosh, our marriage is a sham! How dare you do this to the finest interpreter of modern dance in the world! You are... you are...

A monster!

A monster! And you've placed me in a...

Compromising position!

A compromising position! You have made me the victim of...

A mock marriage!

A mock marriage!

And above all else!

And above all else!

I'm in love with the butler!

I'm in love with the butler! Get out! Now! I'm getting my father!

No! Not the Senator!

He'll know how to deal with the likes of you!

Eileen, you can't leave, it's our honeymoon! You promised I could touch you!

And to think, you were about to lay your hands on this...

Oh! Eileen, I beg of you... please stay!

Give me one reason!

And dignity's dropping, the women are fair...

Daddy! Daddy!

That you should care for....

'S me!

Eileen! What are you doing here?!

I've got a better question. Who is this happy, pretty person?

I smell demon rum!

Oh Jimmy, this is my Auntie Estonia, the Duchess of Woodford and noted prohibitionist!

Boys, arrest him!

Oh Daddy! Oh Daddy!

Wait! He's not married anymore!

What?! Jimmy, who is this woman?

Yes, guv'ner?

But I thought the maid was married to the butler and she left him yesterday.

And this 'ere is me good mate, Duke.

The servants brought along a friend?

Here's your blasted glass of... whoa! Look at all these Feds!

Butler, is this woman your wife?!

Why this is splendid news! Now we can have the wedding this very afternoon!

Yay!

What? No!

Oh, I'm so happy!

Yes sir, I mean, no sir!

Bobbi Billie is not our cockney maid?

No! I mean...

If you're having cold feet, perhaps we should just contact your mother...

Oh, what an enchanting maid you have, James. Aren't foreigners who speak English just delightful?

Oh, it's wedding time!Come, feisty butler, I will show you where the good china is stored. I believe it's in the cellar.

None of you's can!

Of course we can. Right, Daddy?

Everybody move away from this door!

Daddy, I don't understand.

But I am for you, Billie, it's just...

Oh Jimsy, I have such brilliant news. In celebration of our wedding, I'm expressing my happiness through dance!

Yay.

Oh, and look who's here, bonjour, cockney servant! Au revoir, cockney servant! Enjoy your menial labor.

She is too divine! Don't you just adore unthreatening foreigners?

Oh Jimsy, just think! Soon, we will be joined together in happiness till death do us part!

Wait! I have an announcement to make! I'm terribly sorry, but I can't get married today!

What?

Bad case...

Oh Jimsy, this can't be true!

I know, we have no choice but to postpone the wedding!

No, it can't be true because don't you get malaria in Africa?

What?

Yes, one contracts malaria from mosquitoes in Africa.

I... I thought it was Long Island.

No, it's Africa-

Now listen to me, James Winter, I assume you just have a case of pre-wedding jitters. But my baby wants to marry you, so you will marry her!

Daddy, why don't you begin our luncheon by saying a few words?

Hey look out the window, there's F. Scott Fitzgerald!

Where?! Where?! Where?!

Nope, false alarm. Enjoy!

Go on, Daddy.

Look, there's Charlie Chaplin!

Where?! Where?! Where?!

soup is poured into my lap

Ah! How dare you! You're fired!

Well, I'm sure it was just an accident!

Jimsy, what are you defending this... Oh my gosh, do you have feelings for Bobbi Billie?

James Winter, you have given us the worst wedding luncheon ever!

Oh Daddy, it wasn't his fault, it was all her fault! Bobbi Billie, you will pack your things and go!

Wait, don't say another word! No one's marryin' no one!

How dare you! You're fired!

And now, you're coming with us!

Oh Jimsy, say this isn't true!

Oh, Cookie!

Oh, Daddy!

Not just yet, Chief. Hello, Max.

Father, you know Jimmy's mother?

Then thank goodness I got here in time!

Excuse me, excuse me, but are you aware who your son is marrying?

Awww...

Wait a minute! Daddy, if you're Jimmy's father, then I was about to marry my...

Excuse me.

Please, I want to be alone.

Yeah, I had a lousy day, too, but are you the Eileen Evergreen?

Why, yes.

47

Oh, a perfect little cottage!