How human survival instincts impact how we deal with conflict - what are our natural responses when threatened or aroused?
basics survival instincts: fight or flight.
Preserving conflict as dangerous. Aka competing conflict style and/or avoiding.
Dimensions of emotional intelligence
combination of self and others relation. General idea understand
Understand why the use of reflecting skills is important
4 reflecting skills:paraphrasing, reflecting feelings, reflecting meanings, summation reflections. We use them to help us understand what u heard correctly. Being on the same page. Also these skills help show that we are listening. Helps us remember info.
Understand the importance of empathy and how to "do empathy
empathy:being present hearing and understanding, just " getting it" not really sympathizing.
The definition of conflict
an expressed struggle between two or more interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards and interference from the other party
four approaches to conflict
conflict prevention, resolution, management, and creation/utilization
behavioral violence
physical, verbal or psychological aggression with the intent to cause harm
structural violence
institutional power used to deprive others of rights or needs intentionally or unintentionally
the value of awareness in preventing, resolving and managing conflict
listening and understanding, observing, being present, seeing connections.
he value of mindfulness in preventing, resolving and managing conflict
(awareness without judgment) this can help with stress reduction and ability to focous
The five conflict styles
competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding and accommodation
Competing
� Quick decisions (emergencies)
� You know you're right
� Principles and values are too important to compromise
� Protect yourself against those who might take advantage of you
collaborating
� Both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised
� To learn or understand
� To merge insights from people with different perspectives
� To gain commitment or buy-in
� To work through hard feelings, improve or maintain interpersonal relationship
compromising
� When goals are moderately important
� When there are mutually exclusive goals
� Temporary settlements to complex issues
� Time pressure
� When collaboration fails
avoiding
� Trivial issues
� When you can't get what you want
� When confronting a conflict will do more harm than good
� To let people cool down
� You need more information
� When others can solve the conflict more effectively
accommodating
� When you're wrong
� When the issue is much more important to the other person than to yourself
� When the relationship is important
� To build up social credits for later issues which are important to you
� When continued competition would only damage y
How to utilize our knowledge of conflict styles to better deal with conflict, and examples of when each style might be useful
...
High risk responses/roadblocks to communication - know the three categories as well as the specific roadblocks that fall into each category; be able to recognize examples
Judging- criticizing, name-calling and labeling, diagnosing, praising evaluativley
sending solutions- ordering, threatening, moralizing excessive or inappropriate questioning, advising
avoiding the others concerns- diverting, logical argument, reassuring
How much of human communication is ignored, misunderstood, or forgotten
75 percent
hearing
hearing what someone says, but info isn't making an impression or being remembered,Hearing is physiological
listening
listening includes the psychological process of interpreting and
understanding what has been heard
Three types of listening skills
Attending, following, reflecting
attending skills
? Posture of involvement
? Appropriate body motion
? Eye contact
? Non-distracting environment
following skills
� Door openers
� Pick up on someone's signals, maybe knowing they want to talk, "opening a door" to a conversation
� "you seem like something is bothering you, want to talk about it?"
� Minimal encourages
� Infrequent questions
� Attentive silence
reflecting skills
Reflecting skills
� Paraphrasing
? Summarizes content
? Repeat main points in different words
? Focus on what was said, not what was meant
� Reflecting feelings
? Summarizes how the other person feels
? Describe their emotion
? May pick up on this from no
most important use of reflecting skill
Prevent misunderstandings