why should we comfort mourners?
The gemara says that we should mimic hashems actions. Hashem comforted mourners, therefore so should we.
When did hashem comfort mourners?
After Avraham died hashem appeared to yitzchak and blessed him
How do we know that an avel should mourn for 7 days
Yosef mourned for 7 days for Yaakov
what is A person who does not mourn as chazal commanded and acts as though nothing has happened considered?
cruel
If you have the opportunity to either comfort mourners or visit the sick, which should you do?
you should comfort mourners because its considered a mitzvah for both the living and the dead
why is it a great mitzvah to eulogize the deceased nicely?
because this brings him honor
what do Chazal say about people who do not eulogize torah scholars properly?
they themselves do not deserve to live a long life
When people cry upon the death of any upstanding jew, what does hashem do?
hashem collects their tears
If someone dies and there are no mourners, What should happen?
10 men should go and sit together in the deceased's house to accept visitors and act as "substitute mourners'
If there are not at least 10 men to attend the burial and say kadesh, what should you do?
you should find 10 men and you may even interrupt them from learning torah
can those who work take off from work in order to attend a funeral?
yes, they should
why shouldn't Children never be interrupted from learning torah?
because the world depends on their learning to exist
If you pass by somewhere and. Funeral procession is taking place, what should you do?
you should escort the body for at least 4 amot
If you can't escort the body , then what should you do?
you should stand up and stand still as it passes
visitors cannot speak until when?
until after the mourner speaks to them
where do we learn this from?
We learn this from Eiov who addressed his visitors and only then did they try and comfort him
who is eiov?
he was someone who was rich and thriving and then the angels made a bet with hashem and took away all his blessings and all the stuff he had and then he was mourning his whole family.
Before accepting comfort what must the mourner first do?
internalize that the tragedy of the death is from god. Therefore he has to initiate to conversation as if to say he accepts gods decree and would now like to be comforted
why shouldn't Visitors engage in frivolous conversations with the mourners?
because these conversations do not honor the deceased and do not comfort the mourners (they simply distract them if that much)
just as the mourners opens the conversation , he ends it as well. If the mourner does not want visitors anymore what should you do?
you must leave immediately. listen to the mourner
what are 3 things that friends and relatives of the deceased can partake in in order to help them in the next world?
1. A son can say kadesh and redeems his parent from gehenim by sanctifying hashems name
2. women can say kadesh or they can answer with full intention and achieve the same affect as saying kadesh
3. Doing mitzvot in their honor can help them even more tha
Excelling in certain mitzvot during the mourning period or on the yartzheit can help the deceased greatly.
what are these mitzvot?
those that benefit the public, for example, setting up soup kitchens, or giving tzedakah towards an ongoing cause
what is even more beneficial towards the soul than anything mentioned above?
Learning torah in honor of the deceased (it is best if a minyan can learn)
why does acting as a generally good person provide honor to deceased parents/
because people will say "your parents raised you well" and hashem will have mercy on them