mushnik lines scenes 1-2

begin scene 1

What did you break now, Krelborn?

Seymour: Nothing, Mr. Mushnik


Audrey enters shop

So, she finally decides to come to work

Audrey: Good morning, Mr. Mushnik

What morning? It's two o'clock in the afternoon.
Not that we had a customer. Who has customers when you run a flower shop on Skid Row?

Audrey: I'm sorry.

Seymour, what is going on back there?

Seymour: Very little Mr. Mushnik!

Audrey, you'd better go back there and see what he's ...
Audrey. Where'd you get that shiner?

Audrey: Shiner?

Audrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours-- he's been beating up on you again?
Look, I know its none of my business, but I'm beginning to think he's maybe not such a nice boy.

Seymour: I got these plants repotted for you Mr....

Seymour! Look what you done to the inventory!

Audrey: I'll clean it up before any of the customers get here

Well that ought to give you plenty of time
Look God. What an existence I got. Misfit employees, bums on the sidewalk, business is lousy. My life is a living Hell.

Crystal and Chiffon fight over magazine

You! Urchins! Off the stoop! It ain't bad enough I got the winos permanently decorating the storefront? I need three worthless ragamuffins to complete the picture?

Crystal: No we're not Ronnete

You ought to be in school

Ronnette: Right, we went to school till the fifth grade, then we split

So how do you intend to better yourselves?

Begin scene 2

Look at that! Six o'clock and we didn't sell so much as a fern. I guess this is it.
Don't bother coming in tomorrow

Seymour: You can't mean

What, what don't I mean? I mean I'm closed, forget it. Kaput.

Audrey: You can't!

Kaput! Extinct! I'm closing this God and customer forsaken place.

Audrey: there, Now isn't that bizarre?

At least. What kind of weirdo plant is that, Seymour?

Seymour: plant like this, here in the window, maybe--

Maybe what? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? Just because you put a strange and interesting plant in a window, people don't suddenly...

Customer: may as well take fifty dollars of roses while I'm here!

Fifty dollars!

Seymour: Fifty dollars!

Yessir, right away sir!

Customer: Can you break a hundred?

A hundred... er... no I'm afraid we er ... Closed the register for today

customer: twice as many, won't I?

Twice as many!

Seymour: Twice as many!

A hundred dollars worth? Yessir. Right away sir. Audrey, my darling, kindly fetch this gentleman one hundred dollars worth of our very finest red American Beauty roses!

Customer exits

Well don't just stand there! Quick! Quick! Quick! Put that plant-- what do you call it?

Seymour: An audrey two

Put that Audrey Two in the window where the passers-by can see. My God, I'd never have believed it.
My children, I'm taking us all to dinner!

Audrey: but I have a date

With the same nogoodnik? I'm telling you Audrey, you don't need a date with him, you need major medical. He ain't a good clean kinda boy.

Audrey: He's a professional

What kind of professional drives a motorcycle and wears a black leather jacket?

Seymour: goodnight

Poor girl.

Seymour: still going to dinner?

You're not going anywhere, Krelborn. You're staying right here and taking care of this sick plant. How come its fainting all the time?

Seymour: The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl

Strictly between us, neither is the Audrey One

Seymour: its nowhere in the books

Well, Krelborn, my advice to you is you better figure it out and fast. Look what this exotic little beauty did for business!

Seymour: I know

So work, Seymour! Nurse that plant back to health. I'm counting on you.

Seymour: I know

You do?

Seymour: I do

So fix! good night.

DJ: thanks for tuning in to WSKID!

The address, the address, mention the... Oh well. its still great advertising.

Crystal: you sounded sexier than the Wolfman!

But you didn't mention the address of the shop. How many times have I told you?

Seymour: She said she'd be here

Forget about Audrey. I've got three more radio interviews lined up for tomorrow and the Skid Row Herald Examiner wants a picture

Ya Never Know ends