what is Gottman's PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE?
Gottman's purpose of marriage states that marriage is to support each others hopes and aspriations, and to build a sense of purpose into their lives together
what are 8 myths about marriage?
1. learning to communicate more sensitively can save your marital relationship
2. neuroses or personality problems always ruin marriage
3. common interests keep you together
4. you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours
5. avoiding conflict will ruin your ma
what are 2 key factors to marriage?
1. happy marriages are based on a deep friendship (the couples friendship)
2. the strongest determining factor of men's and women's marital satisfaction (satisfaction with sex, romance, and passion) is the couple's friendship
what is the POSITIVE SENTIMENT OVERRIDE?
the positive sentiment override states that when the views, feelings, and thoughts of the other person and of the relationship are so positive, that negative things and events (bad arguements, grumpiness, rudeness) cannot topple or override the positive f
what does it take to build a SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE?
trust and commitment are the foundation and walls of the marriage's "SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE"
in order to have trust and commitment, the couples must be attuned to each other (in touch with each others emotions, able to see and acknowledge the other's pe
what is BETRAYAL and what can be said about it?
betaryal is defined as any act or life choice that doesn't prioritize the commitment, and doesn't put the spouse before all others
betrayal lies at the heart of every failed marital relationship
what is PRINCIPLE 1, what does it state, and why does this matter?
principle 1: enhance your love map
principle 1 states that to improve a marital relationship, it is necessary to know one's spouse very well and to be intimately familiar with each other's world
the love map is the part of the brain where all relevant inf
what is PRINCIPLE 2, when does it occur and what does it consist of?
what does it test?
principle 2: nurture your fondness and admiration
principle 2 states occurs when each feels the other person is worthy of being respected and liked. fondness and admiration are vital as they are an antidote for contempt (1/4 horsemen of the apocalypse)
th
what is PRINCIPLE 3,
principle 3: turn towards each other rather than away from each other
principle states that couples make "bids" for each other's attention, affection, humor, or support (asking for a backrub, texting abour a bad day at work)
couples who respond to their p