Principles of verbal messages
Messages are packed- both verbal and nonverbal behaviors support each other
Messages meanings are in people- when receiving a message you don't receive the meaning behind it, you create it.
Denotative meanings
the literal interpretations of words. The "dictionary version
Connotative meanings
take into account the individual thoughts, feelings, in relation to the word. connotation of a word differs based on experiences they may had.
Prosocial deception
to achieve something good. designed to make a person feel good.
Self-Enhancement deception
To make yourself look good.
Selfish deception
To protect yourself. Lies designed to protect yourself
Antisocial deception
designed to harm someone.
example. false rumor
disconfirmation
which you ignore a person's presence as well as that person's communications.
confirmation
acknowledge the presence of the other person and indicate acceptance of this person
nonverbal communication
you communicate instead, with gestured, facial expressions, use other senses to incorporate a message
Nonverbal messages interact with verbal messages
theses gestures often used to complement, control, repeat or substitute messages
nonverbal messages help manage impressions
that you form impressions of a person. body size skin color, dress,
allows you to form a specific view of them.
Nonverbal help form relationships
you communicate affection, support, love. Also you communicate displeasure, anger
Tie signs
are used to confirm the level of relationship, (indicate the ways in which your relationship is tied together)
Nonverbal messages structure conversation
when you are in a conversation, you are giving and receiving signals that you're ready to speak, listen and comment. these cues regulate and structure the interaction
Nonverbal messages can influence and deceive
gestures can reinforce messages and influence.
Nonverbal messages are crucial for expressing emotions
although people explain and reveal emotions verbally, nonverbal signal/ behavior speak higher volumes
(Channels of nonverbal com)
Body messages
gestures, appearance, movements
Kinesic (body messages)
the study of communication through body movement
Emblems (Body messages)
substitutes for words (peace, okay, quiet, come here)
Illustrators (body messages)
accompany verbal messages by signaling an action (lets go that way, physically pointing)
Affect displays (body messages)
movement of the face that convey emotion (happy, sad, angry)
Regulator (body messages)
monitor, maintain or control the speaking of another person (nodding head, saying "uhh huh")
Body appearance (channel of nonverbal com)
impressions of your from your general body build, height, weight skin
facial communication (channel of nonverbal com)
use various of facial expressions to signify a variety of emotions.
Duchenne smile
the real smile
eye communication (channel of nonverbal com)
Occulesis- the study of messages communicated by the eyes, which vary depending on the duration, direction, and quality of eye behavior.
Touch communication (channel of nonverbal com)
tactile communication or haptics is the communication by touch.
Para language (channel of nonverbal com)
vocal but non verbal dimension of speech. includes vocal characteristics such as rate and volume
Silence (channel of nonverbal com)
like words and gestures, silence serves several functions:
provide to think
hurt another individual
respond to personal anxiety
Spatial messages and territoriality
Distances:
intimate, personal, social, public
Territorial:
primary (home), second territory, public
proxemics
the study of spatial communication
Artifactual communication
consists of messages conveyed by objects that are made by human hands (clothing, perfume, jewelry)
Olfactory Messages
olfactory communication- communication by way of scent
Temporal communication
chronemics- concerns the use of time, how you organize it, how you react to it and communicate through it.
process of listening
1. receiving
2. understanding- what speakers mean.
3. remembering- effective listening depends on remembering previous messages
4. evaluating- judging messages in some way.
5. responding- occurs in two phases. (1) immediate feedback 2 delayed feedback
Listening barriers
1. distractions
2. biases & prejudices
3. racist, heterosexist
4lack of appropriate focus
Not concentrating (listening barriers)
simply losing focus and thinking about other things besides the info being presented
listening too hard ( listening barriers)
if you get too caught up on trying to remember every single detail, you may lose track of the main points and miss the actual message
jumping to conclusions (listening barrier)
often we try to predict what is going to be said, if fail to predict right, can be problematic in receiving the actual message.
focusing on delivery and personal appearance (listening barrier)
we may judge people by the way they look or speak and not on what they say.
Empathic & objective listening (styles of effective listening)
refers to listening with empathy, to feel another person's feelings
nonjudgemental and critical listening (styles of effective listening)
being open to message but also analyzing and evaluating the message to either accept it of reject it.
surface and depth listening ( styles of effective listening)
surface listening is the literal reading words
depth listening refers to the "hidden" message behind the words or sentences
polite and impolite listening
being engaged with the speaker in an attempt to receive a message or purposely refuting a message and disengaging.
active and inactive listening
putting together your understanding of a speaker's message into meaningful whole
Tactics for better listening
1. take listening seriously
2. be an active listener
3. resist distractions
4. dont be diverted by appearance or delivery
5. avoid judgement
6. focus your listening
emotional communication
it enable us to distinguish between emotions that are relevant to our choices and those that are irrelevant.
helps improve decision making
dyssemia
a condition in which individuals are unable to read appropriately the nonverbal messages of others or communicate their own meanings.
emotions occurs in stages
an event occur ---> you experience an emotion ---> you respond physiologically
James lang theory
an event occurs ---> you respond physiologically--> you experience an emotion
Cognitive labeling theory
an event occur --> you respond physiologically---> you interpret this and decide what emotion you are experiencing ---> you identify the emotion your feeling
emotions may be primary or blended
although we often feel very different about various situations, there are eight basic (primary) emotions.
joy, trust, fear, anger, anticipation, surprise, sadness, disgust
emotions involve both body and mind
The body - bodily reactions can be observed easily. ex. blushing in embarrassment, sweaty palms when nervous.
The Mind- mental/cognitive part of the emotional experience involves the evaluation and interpretations you make on the basis of what you experie
emotions are influenced by a variety of factors
Culture- the culture you were raised in or the culture you live in gives you a framework for how you express and interpret emotions.
Gender- men and women express emotions differently.
Personality- influences the emotions you feel and the extent to which
emotional expression uses multiple channels
text messages, emojis can substitute nonverbals
emotional expression is governed by display rules
display rules govern what is and what is not permissible emotional communication
Emotions may be adaptive
meaning they can help you adjust appropriately to situations.
ex. not doing well on an exam, lead to studying harder
Emotions may be maladaptive
meaning they can keep you from accomplishing your goals.
ex. you may be so anxious about an exam that you may do worse than normal because it interrupts your ability to think
Emotions can be used strategically
many think emotional expression as an honest reflection of what a person is feeling, however they can be used for specific purposes.
strategic emotionality
a person may use emotion to control a situation or another person. often, used to win an argument.
emotions have consequences
by revealing your emotions, you may create close bonds with others. At the same time, you may also scare people with too much and too intimate disclosure.
emotions are contagious
emotions both positive and negative, can spread among individuals.
emotional contagion
emotions pass from one person to another.
societal and cultural customs
(obstacles to communication emotions)
culture/society tends to frown on emotional expression. "cowboy syndrome" has become the anticipated normal emotional behavior.
Fear
(obstacles to communicating emotions)
a variety types of fear stand in the way of emotional expression.
when we express our emotions tend to feel more vulnerable and expose weaknesses that may have been hidden.
inadequate interpersonal skills
(obstacles to communicating emotions)
most important obstacle to effective emotional comm is the lack of interpersonal skill.
many people don't know how to express their emotions.
Emotional understanding
(emotional competence)
to develop self-awareness: recognizing what your feelings are and understanding why you feel as you do, and understanding potential effects of your feelings
emotional expression
(emotional competence)
be specific. describe the emotion you feel as well as the intensity to which you feel it. describe the reason behind your feelings, be respectful of emotional boundaries and take responsibility for your feelings.
Emotional responding
(emotional competence)
expressing your feelings is only half of the process of emotional communication. the half is listening and responding to the feelings of others.
Conversation
an essential part of interpersonal com and may be defined simply as informal social interaction.
Opening
(principle of conversation)
first step it open a convo.
Phatic communication- which is a message that establishes a connection between two people. ex. "Hi
feedforward
(principle of conversation)
preview, which gives the person a general idea of the conversation's focus.
Business
(principle of conversation)
the substance or focus of the convo. you converse to fulfill one or several general purpose (learn, relate, influence, play, or help)
Feedback
(principles of conversation)
you reflect on the conversation to signal that, as far as you're concerned, the business is complete
1. positive-negative
2. person focused-message focused
3. immediate-delayed
4. low monitored & high monitored
5. supportive-critical
Closing
(principles of conversation)
the goodbye, reveals how satisfied the persons were with the conversation
conversational maxims
(principle of cooperation)
principles that speakers and listeners follow in conversation
The maxim of quantity
(principle of cooperation)
be as informative as necessary to communicate the intended meaning. include information that makes the meaning clear.
the maxim of quality
(principle of cooperation)
say what you know or assume to be true and do not say what you know to be false. Avoid lying, exaggerating
the maxim of relation
(principle of cooperation)
talk about what is relevant to the conversation
the maxim of manner
(principle of cooperation)
be clear, be relatively brief and organize your thoughts into meaningful sequence.
Self- disclosure
communicating information about yourself to another person.
reward of self-disclosure
increase self-knowledge
increase communication
relationship effectiveness
physiological well-being
Risk of self-disclosure
Personal risk- may experience rejection from even your closest friend and family
Relational risks- total self- disclosure may prove threatening to a relationship by causing a decrease in mutual attraction
Professional risks- revealing political views or a
Influences on self-disclosure
many factors influences whether or not you disclose:
Who you are
Your culture
Gender
Your listeners
Your topic
Your media
Guidelines for self-disclosure
1. disclose out of appropriate motivation
2. disclose in the appropriate context
3. disclose gradually
4. disclose without imposing burdens on yourself or others
small talk
some of our everyday interactions involve some sort of small talk. Small talk is pervasive, we all engage in it.
introducing people
one of the interpersonal communication situations that often creates difficulties is the introduction of one person to another.
Making excuses
designed to reduce any negative reaction to what you said or done to maintain a positive image.
apologies
expression of regret or sorrow
use to repair relationship
and the image of the wrong doer
Complimenting
a message of praise, flattery or congratulations. functions like a kind of interpersonal glue.
Back hand compliment
not a compliment at all. "that sweater takes away from your pale complexion. This compliments the sweater but not the person
Advising
messages that tell other what they should do or think