self-concept
who you think you are; the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself
The concept of self is perhaps
our most fundamental possession
self-esteem
involves evaluation of self-worth
people with high self-esteem
tend to think well of others and expect to be accepted by them
personality
characteristic ways that you think and behave across a variety of situations
you personality tends to be stable
throughout your life, and often it grows more pronounced over time
the messages we receive from the people
in our lives play a central role in shaping how we regard ourselves
reflected appraisal
the fact that each of us develops a self-concept that reflects the way we believe others see us
significant others
people whose opinions we especially value
the influence of significant others
becomes less powerful as people grow older
social comparison
evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others
reference groups
those that we compare ourselves play an important role in shaping our view of ourselves.
the self-concept is
subjective. it may be accurate or distorted.
distorted self-concept can occur because of
obsolete information, distorted feedback, perfectionism, social expectations
the self-concept resists
change
cognitive conservatism
the tendency to seek and attend to information that conforms to an existing self-concept
we are less concerned with learning the "truth
about ourselves than with reinforcing a familiar self-concept
the tendency to cling to an outmoded self-perception
also holds when the new self-perception would be more favorable than the old one
how to embrace a more positive self-image
have realistic perception of yourself, have realistic expectations, have the will to change, have the skill to change
other forces that mold our identity
culture, sex, and gender
self-fulfilling prophecy
occurs when a person's expecations of an event, and his or her subsequent behavior based on those expectations, make the eent more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true
self-imposed prophecies
occur when your own expectations influence your behavior
identity management
the communication strategies that people use to influence how others view them
perceived self
a reflection of the self-concept, is the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest self-examination
presenting self
is a public image- the way we want others to view us
face
what the presenting self is sometimes called
We strive to construct multiple
identites
identity management is
collaborative
identity management can be
deliberate or unconscious
why manage identities
to start and manage relationships, to gain compliance of others, to save others' face, to explore new selves
Face-to-face communicators can manage their front in 3 ways
manner, appearance, setting
manner
consists of a communicator's words and nonverbal actions
appearance
the personal items that people use to shape an image
setting
physical items that we use to influence how others view us
self-disclosure
is the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and would not normally be known by others
social penetration
2 dimensions - breadth & depth
breadth
the range of subjects being discussed
depth
the shift from relatively impersonal messages to more personal ones
Johari Window
4 panes - everything about you, that which is known to self, that which isn't known to self, that which is known to others, that which is not known to others: open, blind, hidden, unknown.
privacy management
the choices people make to reveal or conceal information about themselves
benefits of self-disclosure
catharsis, reciprocity, self-clarification, self-validation, building and maintaining relationships, social influence,
risks of self-disclosure
rejection, negative impression, decrease in relational satisfaction, loss of influence, hurting the other person
guidelines for self-disclosure
is the other person important to you? are the amount and type of disclosure appropriate? is the risk of disclosing reasonable? will the effect be constructive? is the self-disclosure reciprocated, do you have a moral obligation to disclose?
alternatives to self-disclosure
silence, lying, equivocating, hinting
catharsis
get it off your chest
benevolent lie
as unmalicious, or even helpful, to the person to whom it is told
reasons for lying
save face for others, save face for self, acquire resources, protect resources, initiate interaction, be socially gracious, avoid conflict, avoid interaction, leave taking
equivocating
is neither a false message nor a clear truth, but rather an alternative used precisely when both of these are to be avoided
hint
is aimed to get a desire response from others
the success of a hint
depends on the other person's ability to pick up the unexpressed message