symbols
- words
-arbitrary, ambiguous, and abstract interpretations of other phenomena
symbols are arbitrary
- words are not intrinsically connected to what they represent
- we could easily use other symbols as long as we all agreed that certain symbols would refer to certain things
- the meaning of words can change over time, making language dynamic
symbols are ambiguous
- what they mean is not clear cut
- we learn not only words, but also the meanings and values attributed to them by our society
- there is no guarantee that people will agree on what words mean
symbols are abstract
- they are not concrete or tangible
- they stand for people, ideas, people, events, objects, feelings, etc
- are not the things they represent
- we can lessen the potential for misunderstanding by using specific language
4 principles of verbal communication
1. Language and Culture Reflect Each Other
2. The meanings of language are subjective
3. Language use is rule-guided
4. Punctuation shapes meaning
4.
Language and culture reflect each other
- communication reflects cultural history, values, and perspectives
- creates or reproduces culture by naming and normalizing practices valued by the culture
- words of a language reflect what the mainstream in a culture regards as worth naming
- dominant
The meanings of language are subjective
- the meanings of words are never self-evident or absolute
- we construct meanings by interacting with others and through dialogues we carry on in our own heads
- constructing meaning is symbolic because we rely on words to think about what words and othe
Language use is rule guided
- verbal communication is patterned by unspoken but broadly understood rules
- communication rules
- regulative rules
- constituitive rules
Communication rules
- shared understandings of what communication means and what kinds of communication are appropriate in particular situations
- example: take turns speaking and using appropriate lanuage and volumes in certain places such as libraries
Two rules that govern communication
- regulative rules
- constituitive rules
- learned from particular others and generalized others
Regulative rules
- specify when, where, and with whom to talk about certain things
-may vary across cultures and social groups
- example: wearing appropriate clothing to work
Constitutive rules
- specify how to interpret and perform different kinds of communication
- we learn about what counts as respect, friendliness, affection, and professionalism
- we also learn what communication is expected if we want to be perceived as a good friend, a res
Being aware of communication rules
- we do not have to be aware of communication rules to follow them
- we're for the most part not conscious of the rules that guide how, when, where, and with whom we communicate about various things
- may not realize we have rules until one is broken, and
Punctuation shapes meaning
- in writing, we use commas, periods (giggles), and semicolons to define where ideas stop and start and where pauses are needed
- punctuation in interpersonal communication
Punctuation in interpersonal communication
- Defines beginnings and endings of interaction episodes
- define when interaction begins and who starts it
- when we dont agree, problems arise
- example of common instance of conflicting punctuation: the demand-withdraw pattern
The demand-withdraw pattern
- starts with one person trying to create closeness with personal talk, and the other strives to maintain autonomy by avoiding intimate discussion
- the more the first person pushes for personal talk (tell me whats going on in your life), the further the
What does punctuation depend on?
- no objectively correct communication
- depends on subjective perceptions
- when communicators dont agree on punctuation, they dont share meanings for what is happening between them
Symbolic abilities
- five ways that symbolic abilities affect our lives
1. Language defines phenomena
2. Language evaluates
3. Language organizes perceptions
4. Language allows hypothetical thought
5. Language allows self-reflection
Language defines phenomena
- most basic symbolic ability is definition
- symbols are used to define experiences, relationships, feelings, and thoughts
- definitions we impose shape what things mean to us
- the power of naming
1. Language shapes perceptions
2. Language can totalize
Language shapes perceptions
- when labeling someone, we focus on particular aspects of that person and his or her activities
- we neglect or overlook other aspects of the person
- we may define someone as a cook, boss, father, etc
- each definition directs our attention to certain a
language can totalize
- occurs when we respond to a person as if one label (one we have chosen or accepted from others) totally represents who he or she is
- fix on one symbol to define someone and fail to recognize many other aspects of that person
- we negate most of who the
language shapes and reflects relationships
- the symbols we use to define experience in our relationships affects how we think and feel about those relationships
- the language we use to think about relationships affects what happen in them
- couples in satisfying relationships
- couples in distre
couples in satisfying relationships
- rely more on "we" language when discussing problems
- more conscious of virtues in partners and relationships and less bothered by imperfections
couples in distressed relationships
- rely more on "I" pronouns
-heighten awareness of what they do not like
language evaluates
- language is not neutral or subjective
- laden with values
- the particular words that we use shape our perceptions and those of others
1. Language Reflects and Shapes Perceptions
2. Language Can Be Loaded
3. Language Can Degrade Others
language reflects and shapes perceptions
- we tend to describe people we like with language that accents their good qualities and downplays their flaws
- the opposite for people we do not like
language can be loaded
words that strongly slant perceptions and thus meanings
language can degrade others
- name calling
- hate speech
hate speech
language that radically dehumanizes members of particular groups
language organizes percptions
- symbols are used to organize perceptions
- how we organize experiences affects what they mean to us
1. language allows abstract thought
2. language can stereotype
language allows abstract thought
- organizational quality of language allows us to think about , abstract concepts, such as justice, integrity, and healthy family life
- broad concepts are used to transcend specific, concrete activities and to enter the world of conceptual thought and id
language can stereotype
- thinking in broad generalizations about a whole class of people or experiences
- it is common to classify an experience or person based upon general perceptions of some category
- related to totalizing because when we stereotype someone, we may not perc
language allows hypothetical thought
- example: Where do you hope to be 5 years from now?
- thinking about experiences and ideas that are not part of your concrete, present situation
1. think beyond immediate, concrete situations
2. live in three dimensional time
3. foster personal growth
think beyond immediate, concrete situations
we can contemplate things that currently have no real existence, and we can remember ourselves in the past and project ourselves into the future
live in three dimensions of time
- live more than in just the present moment
- infuse our present lives with knowledge of our histories and plans for our futures
- close relationships rely on ideas of past and future
. one of the strongest "glues" for intimacy is a history of shared expe
foster personal growth
- if you want to be more outgoing:
1. imagine yourself talking easily to others
2. going to parties
language allows self reflection
- there are two aspects of the self:
. the "I"
. the "me"
- self reflection allows us to monitor communication
- self reflection allows us to manage our image
the "I
- the spontaneous, creative self
- acts impulsively in response to inner needs and desires, regardless of social norms
- impervious to social conventions and expectations
the "me
- keenly aware of social conventions and expectations
- in an argument, censors the impulse to insult the other person and reminds you that it is impolite to put others down
- we can think about who we want to be and set goals for becoming the self we des
self reflection allows us to monitor communication
- empowers us to monitor ourselves
- when interacting with people from other cultures, we monitor ourselves that they may have different values and communication rules from others
- allows us to monitor our communication and adjust it to be effective
self reflection allows us to manage our image
- work hard to be perceived in certain ways and not others
-we want to present a particular "face" in our interpersonal encounters
- since we reflect on ourselves from social perspectives, we are able to adapt our communication so that we appear positivel
speech communities
- exists when people share norms about how to use talk and what purpose it serves
- arise out of social situations; people who share a social location tend to develop shared understandings of communication
- members share perspectives on communication tha
gender speech communities
- we know more about it than we do other speech communities
1. socialization
2. gendered communication in practice
3. misunderstandings between gender speech communities
socialization
- children's play is usually sex segregated, and there are notable differences between the games the sexes tend to play
- these differences teach boys and girls distinct rules for using communication and interpreting the communication of others
- girls te
gendered communication in practice
- women's talk is usually more expressive and focused on feelings and personal issues
- mens are more instrumental and competitive
foundation of close and romantic relationships for men
- activities
- cement friendships by doing things for and one another
foundation of close and romantic relationships for women
- also do things with and for people they care about
- most see talk as an essential foundation for intimacy
- communicating is the essence of building and sustaining closeness
- differences between men and women are matters of degree, they are not absolu
misunderstandings between gender speech communications
- socialization in different gender communities accounts for some common misunderstandings between women and men
- the man offers a solution to the problem when a girl is telling him about her problems
- however, women typically want to talk about their f
different styles of listening between men and women
- since women are socialized to be responsive and expressive, they tend to make more listening noises when somebody else is talking
- this is how they show that they are paying attention; they are being attentive and interested
- men tend to make fewer li
engage in dual perspective
- being person centered so that you can recognize another's perspective and take it into account as you communicate
- awareness of others and their viewpoints should be reflected in how we speak
own your feelings and language
to take responsibility for your own feelings, rely on "I language" rather than "you language
I language
owns thoughts and feelings and does not blame them on others
you language
projects thoughts and feelings onto someone else and blames them for it
respect what others say about their thoughts and feelings
- equally destructive to be told that your thoughts are wrong as it is to be told your feelings arent valid, appropriate, or acceptable
- one of the most disconfirming forms of communication is speaking for others when they are able to speak for themselve
strive for accuracy and clarity
- the potential for misunderstanding always exists
- individual and cultural differences foster varying interpretations of words
- we cant completely get rid of misunderstandings, but we can minimize them
. be aware of levels of abstraction
. qualify lang
be aware of levels of abstraction
- most confusion results from language that is excessively abstract
- sometimes abstract language can be appropriate because it allows us to generalize
- abstract words are appropriate when speakers and listeners have similar concrete knowledge about what
qualify language
- two types of language should be qualified
1. we should qualify generalizations so that we dont mislead ourselves or others into mistaking a general statement for an absolute one
2. qualify language when describing and evaluating people
a static evaluation
an assessment that suggests that something is unchanging or fixed
indexing
our evaluations only apply to specific times and circumstances