__ percent of communicated time is spent listening to others
50
complex process of selecting, attending to, constructing meaning from, remembering, and responding to verbal and nonverbal messages
listening
physiological process of decoding sounds
hearing
the process of choosing one sound as you sort through the various sounds competing for your attention
selecting
focusing on the sound
attending
the process of assigning meaning to the sounds you select and to which you attend
understanding
the process of recalling information
remembering
when you let them know you understand their messages
responding
your preferred way of making sense out of the spoken messages you hear
listening style
listeners tend to be comfortable with and skilled at listening to people's feeling and emotions
people-oriented listeners
listener prefers information that is well organized, brief, and error-free
action-oriented listeners
you are more comfortable listening to complex, detailed information
content-oriented listener
you like your message delivered succinctly
time-oriented listener
listeners that are focused on their needs rather than on yours are
self absorbed listeners
occurs when emotional arousal interferes with communication effectiveness
emotional noise
your emotional state can affect how well you listen
unchecked emotions
a person who eagerly pounces on the speaker to argue, criticize, or find fault with what the other person has said
ambush listener
being critical of the speaker may distract a listener from focusing on the message
criticizing the speaker
your ability to think faster than people speak
differing speech rate and thought rate
we are all constantly bombarded with sights and sounds
information overload
distractions that take your focus away from the message
noise
distractions make it difficult to sustain attention to a message
external noise
the fear of misunderstanding or misinterpreting or of not being able to adjust psychologically to messages spoken by others
listener apprehension
word sound or visual device that represents an object, sound, concept, or experience
symbol
thing that a symbol represents
referent
mental process of creating an image, sound, concept, or experience triggered by a referent or symbol
thought
restrictive or literal meaning of the word
denotative meaning
personal and subjective meaning of a word
connotative meaning
a word whose referent you can experience through your senses
concrete
if you cannot experience the referent through your senses the word is
abstract
there's not an obvious reason many words represent what they refer to
words are arbitrary
symbols derive their meaning from the situation in which they are used
words are context bound
the meaning of a symbol such as a word can change from culture to culture
words are culture bound
words give you a tool to create how you perceive the world
words create perceptions
words and thoughts are inextricable related
words influence thought
your thoughts are influenced by words and affect how you behave
words influence actions
our words reflect our thoughts and our cultures
words affect and reflect culture
based on the principles of linguistic determinism and linguistic relativity, the hypothesis that language shapes our thoughts and culture and our culture and thoughts affect the language we use to describe our world
sepir-whorf hypothesis
what you say and how you say it has a strong impact on how you relate to others
words make or break relationships
the same words mean different things to different people
bypassing
using words out of context, using inappropriate grammar, or putting words in the wrong order
lack of precision
the tendency to use language to make unqualified, often untrue generalizations
allness
a statement that fails to recognize change
static evaluation
use of either/or terms
polarization
using words that reflect gender, racial, ethnic, age, ability, or class bias
biased language
the most significant source of emiotional communication
the face
we communicate __ percent of the emotional meaning of our messages nonverbally
93
actions speak louder than words
nonverbals are more believable than verbals
nonverbal cues can substitute for verbal messages as well as repeat contradict or regulate what we say
nonverbals help manage verbals
out unspoken cues accent and complement verbal messages to increase or decrease the emotional impact of what we say
nonverbals augment the emotional meaning of verbals
theory suggesting that people interact with others by adapting to their communication behaviors
interaction adaptation theory
mirroring of each others nonverbal behavior by communication partners
interactional synchrony
nonverbal communication is important when initiating relationships, and maintaining and developing mature relationships
nonverbals play a major role in interpersonal relationships
interpreting others nonverbal messages helps us appropriately adapt our communication as we interact with them
people respond and adapt to other through nonverbals
the meaning of nonverbal messages may be known only to the person displaying them
nonverbals are ambiguous
nonverbal behaviors unfold without clearly defined starting and stopping points
nonverbals are continuous
nonverbal cues come at us from a variety of sources simultaneously
nonverbals are multichanneled
each culture may develop unique rules for displaying and interpreting these gestures and expressions
nonverbal interpretation is culture based
the study of human movement and gesture
kinesics
study of how close or far away from people and objects people position themselves
proxemics
zone where the most intimate communication occurs
intimate space
zone where most conversations with family and friends occur
personal space
most group interaction as well as professional relationships takes place in this zone
social space
zone 12 or more feet from someone
public space
the study of how animals use space and objects to communicate occupancy or ownership of space
territoriality
we move towards people and things we like and avoid or move away from those we dislike
immediacy
face, voice, and movement are primary indicators of
arousal
cues communicate power, status, position, and importance
dominance
theory that you interpret the messages of others based on how you expect others to behave
expectancy violation theory
theory that emotional expression is contagious
emotional contagion theory
4 elements of interpersonal conflict
expressed struggle, between at least 2 interdependent people, who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference from others, and who are attempting to achieve specific goals
conflict myths
conflict is always a sign of a poor relationship, conflict can always be avoided, conflict always occurs because of misunderstandings, conflict can always be resolved
conflict triggered by a lack of understanding and miscommunication
pseudoconflict
conflict that stems from different ideas, definitions, perceptions, or goals
simple conflict
conflict that focuses on issues about the quality of the relationship
expressive conflict
conflict that centers on achieving a particular goal or task
instrumental conflict
conflict which the original issue is ignored as partners attack each other's self-esteem
ego conflict
being in a relationship means letting someone have some influence on you and having influence on the other person
power exists in all relationships
if you can meet someones needs then you have power
power derives from the ability to meet a persons needs
although sometimes one person in a relationship has more power than the other each person has some degree of power
both people in a relationship have some power
because our needs change so does power
power is circumstantial
partners often negotiate which individual will have decision making responsibility over what issues
power is negotiated
power that is based on respect for a postion that a person holds
legitimate power
power that comes from our attraction to another person or the charisma another person possesses
referent power
based on a persons knowledge and experience
expert power
based on another persons ability to satisfy your needs
reward power
involves the use of sanctions or punishment to influence others
coercive power
conflict management style that involves backing off and trying to side-step conflict
avoidance
conflict management style that involves giving in to the demands of others
accommodation
conflict management style that stresses winning a conflict at the expense of the other person involved
competition
conflict management style that attempts to find the middle ground in a conflict
compromise
conflict management style that uses other-oriented strategies to achieve a position solution for all involved
collaboration
leave an argument or even end a relationship when conflict arises
exit
drawbacks of exit strategy
doesn't resolve differences and can damage a relationship
a person denies or minimizes problems
neglect
downfalls to neglect
doesn't address problems fully and with respect for each others feelings
quietly staing loyal to a partner and a relationship
loyalty
benefits to loyalty
assumes a relationship is worth continuing
an active way of managing conflict. engages the conflict and invites the other person to collaborate in resolving it
voice
benefit to voice
actively works to resolve problems