Emotions
2 types:
1. Biologically Based Emotions (instinctual, beyond conscious control)
2. Emotions we learn through social interaction
-experience emotion holistically (a lot of emotion at same time, not in turns)
-Communicating emotions is both difficult (to ex
Influences on Emotions
1. Physiological Influences
2. Perceptual Influences
3. Social Influences
Organismic approach (to emotion)
(James Lange View) first we have a physiological response to something that happened and then based on that we label the emotion (bio basis of emotions)
(the) Appraisal Theory
what counts when it comes to emotion is your subjective perception
interactive view (of emotions)
learn emotions through interaction with others
2 key components:
1. feeling/framing rules
2. emotion work
(feeling) framing rules
rules that define the emotional meaning of a situation
EX: we know how it is expected that we act at a funeral->sad, party->excited, school, etc.
The pinch
inexplicably feeling the opposite of how framing rules say you should act
EX: laughing at a funeral
Emotion work
refers to our EFFORTS to generate what we think are the right emotions for the situation
Avenues:
1. self talk=talk ourselves into expressing the right emotions for a given situation
2. talk to our friends= talk to others to get us to express the right em
Emotional Intelligence
(Daniel Golman->social interaction theory)
an ability to know what emotions you're experiencing & the ability to effectively express it (+ the ability to be sensitive to others' feelings)
Qualities (of emotionally intelligent people)
1. in touch w/ your feelings
2. know how to manage emotions, & don't let them over come you
3. don't let setbacks & disappointments derail them
4. are natural empathizers
5. have a strong, yet realistic sense of optimism (understand that bad things happen
Natural Empathizer(s)
innate ability to understand what others are feeling
Barriers to expressing emotions
1. SOCIETAL RULES AND CUSTOMS
EX: don't be a Girl, man up, etc.
Cowboy Syndrome
2. FEAR OF VULNERABILITY: fear of exposing who we truly are & how we truly feel because they might reject us, view us differently, or create conflict
3. POOR INTERPERSONAL COM
Cowboy Syndrome
a cold, unexpressive man ->strong but silent
-Is enforced by societal rules and customs that say this is how a man should behave
-Ronald Lavent said cowboy syndrome leads to trained incompetence because they are enable to (aren't supposed to) express emot
Language (Problems to Expressing Emotions)
1. tend to speak about emotions in generality (EX im happy can mean many things, won the lotto, or ate a chocolate bar)
2. we use counterfeit emotional language (sounds emotional but isnt)
Guidelines (to Expressing Emotions)
1. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY: your body knows more than you know & it knows it sooner than you
2. then IDENTIFY EMOTIONS THAT YOU ARE FEELING: ask self= what am i feeling & at what intensity? (share multiple emotions ->not just anger but also confusion, disapoi
Things to Consider (when expressing emotion)
1. time & place (to express emotion, whats the best setting to do it?)
2. how much am i going to express
3. the significance of the relationship (how important is the relationship to me? Don't want to wreck it beyond repair)
4. pay attention to words & ma
expressing emotion
-not expressing emotion can lead to physical & psychological problems
-choosing to not express emotions can be constructive and generous to other person (look at relationships)
(What are) Emotions (bk 8)
they are characterized by
1. PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES: ex fight or flight, can offer clue to emotions
2. NONVERBAL REACTION: changes in appearance: blushing, perspiring and changes in behavior: facial expression, posture, gestures, different vocal tone and r
Influences on Emotional Expression (bk 8)
1. PERSONALITY= extroversion (report more positive emotions in day to day life) vs introversion (more negative)
neurotic (more negative) vs less neurotic (not as negative)
powerful but doesn't have to govern com (online relationships)
2. CULTURE= cultural
Emotional Contagion (bk 8)
the process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another -emotions are contagious -> one person sad, makes everyone sad
Facilitative Emotions (bk 8)
emotions that contribute to effective functioning
Debilitative Emotions (bk 8)
emotions that hinder or prevent effective performance
Communication Apprehension (bk 8)
feelings of anxiety that plague some people at the prospect of communicating in an unfamiliar or difficult context
EX: a speech, meeting strangers, an interview for a job
a type of debilitative emotions
Facilitative vs Debilitative (bk 8)
Major differences:
1. THE INTENSITY: some amount of anger (facilitative) is constructive, but rage (debilitative) usually just makes matters worse
2. THE DURATION: normal to grieve a breakup for a short amount of time (facilitative) but when one grieves t
Rumination (bk 8)
recurrent thoughts not demanded by the immediate environment, is sometimes used to sustain anger in preparation for retaliation (not healthy)
EX: teenage girls who ruminate about problems with their friends have an increased risk of suffering from anxiety
Rational emotive approach (bk 8)
a method for getting rid of debilitative feelings while remaining sensitive to the more facilitative emotions
Fallacy of perfection (bk 8)
People who accept this fallacy believe that a worthwhile communicator should be able to handle any situation with complete confidence and skill
- FALLACY BECAUSE: while inspiratory it is unrealistic expectations that people will in no way be able to reach
Fallacy of approval (bk 8)
People who accept this fallacy believe that it is vital, not just desirable to obtain the approval of others, these people go to incredible lengths to seek acceptance from others, even to the extent of sacrificing their own principals and happiness
- FALL
Fallacy of should (bk 8)
People who accept this fallacy derive a huge source of unhappiness based on the inability to distinguish between what is and what should be
-FALLACY BECAUSE: reality won't be altered just because you believe it SHOULD be one way or another
CONSEQUENCES OF
Fallacy of overgeneralization (bk 8)
People who accept this fallacy base a belief on a limited amount of evidence -> they focus on a single shortcoming as if it makes up the whole entity of a thing or person
Fallacy of causation (bk 8)
People who accept this fallacy believe that they should do nothing that can hurt or in any way inconvenience others because it will cause undesirable feelings
-FALLACY BECAUSE: while we may act in a provocative way(s), each person is responsible for the w
Fallacy of helplessness (bk 8)
a fallacy that suggests that forces beyond our control determine satisfaction in life, people with this outlook constantly see themselves as victims
"can't" statements are really rationalizations to justify an unwillingness to change -> instead should say
Fallacy of catastrophic expectations (bk 8)
a fallacy where the people believe that if something bad can happen then it probably will happen
-causes a self-fulfilling prophecy -> think bad things will happen so that is all that a person sees out of the situation
Minimizing debilitative emotions (bk 8)
1. monitor your emotional reactions (notice when you're experiencing debilitative emotions)
2. note the activating event (what event triggered these debilitative emotions)
3. record your self talk (what thoughts link the active event and your feelings, wr
Reappraisal (bk 8)
rethinking the meaning of emotionally charged events in ways that alter their emotional impact
-lowers stress and increases productivity
-psych and physio benefits