(Lesson 1)
Communication Models-
Three basic models are used to illustrate the various methods of interpersonal communication:
^Holistic model-
illustrates communication as simultaneous and being influenced by many factors, such as noise, channel, and feedback.
^Transactional model-
illustrates communication as speaker and listener as interactive.
I am speaker and listener and you are speaker and listener�simultaneously.
^Linear model-
illustrates communication as speaker and listener.
I speak, you listen. You speak, I listen.
How does the transactional model of communication differ from the linear model?
The transactional model sees the communication process as back and forth interaction.
Linear model sees it as a one-way process from sender to reciever.
Key Elements of the Communication Process-
The communication process includes many variables that influence each interaction, thereby making each interaction unique.
The source is where the message originates: face-to-face, media, computer mediated, and so on.
The message is in the words or nonverbal cues. This is often confused with meaning, but we know that not all messages sent are in fact the same message received.
Noise is interference to the message: weather, lighting, hunger, tired, traffic, headache, sad, happy.
^Sources-
The sender and receiver are both sources of communication. As a receiver, we can also be a sender.
For example, I am listening and I am nodding my head. I am receiving your message and I am sending back a message (nodding my head) that communicates "Yes, I understand.
^Messages-
This is the formation of the communication tool.
This is the formation of the communication tool.
^Noise-
Noise is interference to the message: weather, lighting, hunger, tired, traffic, headache, emotions.
This is the interference that influences the communication process. Physical, emotional, psychological, and environmental are examples of noise.
For example, you are sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture. The temperature of the room is cold (environment), and this distracts you from listening. The temperature is an environmental interference.
^Context-
This is the overall scenario in which the communication takes place. Physical, cultural, social-psychological, and temporal are examples of context. The scenario is necessary to attach meaning to the message.
For example, an instructor stating "you look nice today" to a stranger on a bus has different meaning than the same statement to a student and an even more different meaning if the instructor and student were outside of the campus.
^Channel-
This is how the communication takes place. Face-to-face, texting, Facebook, and conference calls are all examples of channel. Often communication happens with more than one channel.
For example, when talking with someone face-to-face, communication can happen through the verbal channel, the nonverbal channel, the smell (olfactory) channel, and so forth.
^Effect-
This is the influence that the communication interaction has on each party. Gaining knowledge, clarifying feelings, and understanding directions are all examples of effects from communication.
Types of communication
Temporal context relates to time at which message is delivered.
Social-psychological context refers to the relationships (norms, formalities) that influence a message.
Cultural context involve the values, beliefs, and lifestyles of a certain group.
Physical context relates to the environments effect on a message.
...
Interpersonal communication- Communication between relational people
Intrapersonal communication-Communication you have with self
Mass communication-
Communication from one source to many receivers, typically through a form of media, such as television, radio, and newspapers that reaches people globally
Public communication-
Communication between a speaker and an audience (small to large)
Small group-
Communication with others (typically 5-10 people) brought together by a common goal or objective
Computer meditated-
Communication that takes place through some type of technology, such as email, texting, social networking, blogs, and so forth
(Lesson 3)
Critical thinking-
The process of logically evaluating reasons and evidence and reaching a judgment on the basis of this analysis."
-The art of identifying and evaluating information to guide effective decision making
-Reasonable, reflective thinking that is focused on deciding what to believe and do
-Requires rigorous standards of excellence and the skillful application of them
Barriers to critical thinking-
Being smart-
Although being smart is a good thing, like all other good things, you must consider the implications.For example, people with a higher IQ might not be as likely to consider all aspects of a subject because they are confident in their own knowledge.
Human nature-
Because we are emotional beings, we are more likely to be empathic and sympathetic to those around us. However, these same emotions that can lead to empathy and sympathy can also lead to false or premature judgments and assumptions.
For example, Shelly knows she has to see a therapist on Thursday to help her handle the death of her father. She has several judgments about therapists: they are too touchy-feely, they want you to talk about yourself so they can hold it against you, and they want to confront problems from your childhood that really aren't relevant to your current issues. Because of these premature judgments, Shelly is not very communicative with the therapist and ultimately only sees the therapist for two brief sessions.
Time-
Time is another barrier to critical thinking. We are typically in a hurry. We rush our interactions and conclusions. We do not have a lot of time to get to know someone or do a lot of research, and so we rely on what we already know or heard previously. This way of thinking leads to inaccurate assumptions and minimizes the possibility to understanding the big picture.
For example, you observe a student crying in the hallway outside of a classroom. You determine that the student got a bad score on an exam and decide that the student is being overly emotional. After all, it's just one exam. This conclusion prevents you from reaching out to this student and
learning the whole story.
Fact vs. Opinion-
Opinion- a personal view, judgment, attitude, or appraisal. It is typically based on grounds
insufficient to produce complete certainty.
Fact- verifiable information about a past or present situation that is presented as objective reality. A fact is
a provable concept.
Stages of receiving and processing a message-
Conceptualization- Mentally visualizing an idea or plan
Analysis- Breaking a complex idea or substance into smaller parts to gain a better understanding of it.
Evaluation- Appraisal or determination of the value of something.
Synthesis- The product of combining a number of parts or elements toward a specific function.
Application- Putting a product to a particular use or purpose.
Selective exposure-
a person's tendency to discover information that supports his or her own pre-existing views.
(Lesson 4)
How is culture releant to communication?
Your communication is heavily influenced by the culture in which you were raised.
The information in the interactive presentation suggests that people
should monitor how perceptual barriers influence our relationships.
Perception-
Perception is your understanding and truth. It is how you make sense of what is happening. Perception is influential to the communication process, because how we act or react, or communicate or interact, is the result of perception.
For example, if your perception of a friend is that the friend is not contacting you because she is mad at you, you may either avoid or confront your friend.
However, if your perception is that the friend is busy and needs to make time to hang out, you may call the friend and plan a date.
Perception influences the communication process because it ultimately guides the way a person will communicate and/or react.
Five Elements of the Perception Process:
Stimulation/Stimuli-
Stimulus-Any external or internal change that impinges on or arouses an organism.
We are all drawn to stimuli, and these stimuli are different for each one of us. There is a saying: what gets your attention, gets you. This implies that, if the stimuli attract you, then you will have a reaction to them.
For example, because your friend is not spending time with you, you are bothered. The situation has your attention.
Organization/organize-
Once stimuli have gotten your attention, you must decide what to do with this information or how to organize it. Where does it go? Picture having file cabinets in our brains and trying to keep all of the information in order.
These file cabinets have drawers for experiences, categories, or schemas, such as personalities and characteristics, or reels. These are also known as scripts, or how you believe an order of events will be. This stage is like putting the file labels on the file folders.
To continue with our example: your friend is not spending time with you, and this got your attention. Now, you must "file" that behavior somewhere. You begin to open your file drawers and determine where to place this information.
Interpretation/interpret-
Also known as the evaluation stage, we now evaluate this information. For example, when people do not engage in a relationship, they are usually either mad or too busy.
Memory/remember-
This is the stage where you actually file information and close the drawer. This information can be accessed when necessary to help you interpret future information.
Keep in mind that each stage is personally directed, so it makes sense that each element is subjective. For example, in the file drawer for mad people, you have memories filed. This might include different experiences with mad people, reactions, examples, and outcomes.
Recall-
At some point in the future, it is likely you will recall this information to help you interpret the current situation. Be mindful that the recollection of this information is much more subjective than objective.
For example, imagine that you are considering how to react to, or communicate with, your friend, and you go to that file drawer to recall your experiences with mad people. These experiences will guide your reactions, or communication.
Also, pretend that the last time you confronted a friend about your feelings regarding her behavior, she got defensive. A big conflict ensued that ultimately resulted in harsh words, hurt feelings, and the end of the friendship.
The critical-thinking ability is
the most important to the perceptual checking process.
One can infer that a person's perception
can be biased
Starting an observation about behavior, offering two possible reasons for the behavior, and then requesting clarification about the behavior can
help communicators avoid misunderstandings
If a person beleives that all Asian people are more intelligent that other people that person is engaging in
stereotyping
(Lesson 6)
Elements of forming supportive messages-
...
Direct messages-
Direct language is a message that is clear and direct.
For example: "It's cold in here".
The speaker may want to have the heat turned up, but is not being clear and direct.
A more effective (direct) message would be: "I'm cold. Would you please turn up the heat?
The words "slim" and "scrawny" have
...
Effective verbal message formation is about being
supporting the other person's thoughts, feelings, and values.
-Acknowledge other's feelings
Validate the input and engagement of the other person by responding to the message. The response can either be supporting or taking issue with the input as long as there is acknowledgement.
-Demonstrate nonverbal congruency.
Ensure that your body is saying the same thing that your words are.
-Confirm understanding.
Let the other person know that you understand the meaning of the message.
Forming Supportive Messages-
#NAME?
Non-gendered language-
The average student worries about his/her grade."
"The average student worries about grades."
Taking out the pronoun altogether is the optimum to ensure non-gendered language.
The denotative meaning of a word-
The objective or descriptive meaning of a word; its referential meaning. Contrast connotation.
For example, "chair" is a word that most of us can agree on the meaning, and that meaning is confirmed by the dictionary.
The connotative meaning of a word-
The feeling or emotional aspect of meaning, generally viewed as consisting of evaluative (e.g., good/bad), potency (i.e., strong/weak), and activity (i.e., fast/slow) dimensions; the associations of a term.
As a speaker, clarify your connotative meanings if you have any doubts that your listeners might misunderstand you; as a listener, ask questions if you have doubts about the speaker's connotations.
Contrast denotation.
Ageism-
Discrimination based on age. Avoid it.
(Lesson 7)
Nonverbal Communication-
Communication without words; for example, communication by means of space, gestures, facial expressions, touching, vocal variation, or silence.
^Body communication-
Movement, appearance, and facial movements.
^Spatial Communication
(Distance or use of space)
Intimate Distance
The closest proxemic distance, ranging from touching to 18 inches away. This distance is short, and most people do not consider it an appropriate distance in public, such as kissing.
Personal Distance
The second closest proxemic distance, ranging from 18 inches to four feet. This is the area that you consider your protection from others. For example, we are generally not okay if strangers come into our personal space when we are standing in line; touching each other would be an invasion of our personal space.
Social Distance
The third proxemic distance, ranging from 4 to 12 feet; the distance at which business is usually conducted. Considered the "norm" when interacting in public, such as social functions, the workplace, and so forth.
Public Distance
The longest proxemic distance, ranging from 12 to more than 25 feet. We generally "stay away" from those we perceive as a threat. We are close enough to have that person in our vision, yet we are at a safe distance.
____________________________________________
(Territory or areas you personally claim)
Primary Territories
The longest proxemic distance, ranging from 12 to more than 25 feet. Personal territories that are areas you would call your own, such as your desk, your room, or your car.
Secondary Territory
Area that does not belong to a particular person but that has been occupied by that person and is therefore associated with her or him-for example, the seat a person normally takes in class.
Public Territory
Area that is open to all people-for example, a restaurant, park, theater, and so forth.
Artifactual Communication-
nonverbal messaging conveyed through objects and arrangements.
Color- influences us physiologically, behaviorally, and our perception.
(red can bring about nervousness and anxiety, whereas blue can be calming and relaxing).
(a black suit is powerful, a brown suit lacks authority, a green suit is too different/rebellious, and a blue suit is considered neutral).
Clothing and body adornment-
Clothing influences other's perception of you such as social class, associations, or philosophies.
Space decoration- decorations can communicate relaxation, power, or hierarchy in a work place or status, wealth, family, importance of media in a home-space.
Smell-Scents can remind you of something or someone, influence health (cinnamon can increase your alertness, whereas chocolate can help you relax), and indicate their interest in you. For example, do you wear cologne or perfume on a date?
Touch Communication-
Communication through tactile means.
Meaning of touch
-communicate positive emotions (a pat on the back)
-playfulness (a slap on the knee).
-direct behavior (holding another's hand for guidance).
-Ritual touching can indicate familiarity (shaking hands, hugging).
-Task-related touching supports another function (helping someone out of a car or helping another get dressed).
Why is it important to understand the elements of nonverbal communication?
to ensure your verbal and nonverbal messages match.
When a kindergarten teacher squats so she can be on the same level as her students, she is trying to eshablish
approachability and trust
Giving a thumbs up is an example of communicating by using
an emblem.
(Lesson 9)
Key listening skills-
Receiving
Receiving is when hearing begins to shift to listening.
understanding
when you begin to decode the information that you have chosen to listen to.
remembering
The information you receive and understand must be stored so new information can be received and understood
evaluating
to judge a message. Messages may be evaluated for intent, meaning, emotion, the effect on the relationship to the speaker, and so forth.
responding
Responding can happen while the speaker is talking or after the speaker has stopped talking.
Active Listening-
Responding to a person's message by repeating what you think they meant.
A process of putting together into some meaningful whole an understanding of a speaker's total message-the verbal and the nonverbal, the content and the feelings. If you wish to listen actively, paraphrase the speaker's meaning, express understanding of the speaker's feelings, and ask questions when you need something clarified.
when the listener is engaged in an interaction and not simply a bystander.
By actively responding to the speaker, the listener can be both supportive and communicative.
Paraphrase, ask questions, express understanding, stay focused.
The best way to show that you are listening to a speaker is to maintain eye contact. If you do not do this, you may seem uninterested and distracted.
Active listeners ask questions!
Listening is an
voluntary process.
(Lesson 11)
Self-Concept-
the process of visualizing one's self.
An individual's self-evaluation or self-appraisal. Learn who you are: See yourself through the eyes of others; compare yourself to similar (and admired) others; examine the influences of culture; and observe, interpret, and evaluate your own message behaviors.
Interpersonal vs intrapersonal communication.
Our self-messages (intrapersonal communication) are the foundation for how we interact with others (interpersonal communication).
^Reflective appraisals-
How you are shaped by others' perceptions.
Example: "Tony, you are a smart and resourceful student!" This perception of you begins to shape your own thoughts about your role as student.
^Social comparison
The processes by which you compare aspects of yourself (e.g., your abilities, opinions, and values) with those of others and then assess and evaluate yourself; one of the sources of self-concept.
Example: Stan believes that stealing is wrong. As a student he once copied his friend's paper and submitted it as his own. Reflecting on this behavior (copying the paper) and reflecting on his beliefs (stealing is wrong), Stan interprets that he was wrong; he went against how he believes he should act.
^Cultural norms and expectations
Culture is not just ethnicity or origin; it can include associations such as family, religion, gender, group membership, and so forth. One of the most influential cultural norms and expectations are gender roles�how a man or woman should behave.
Example: American women are expected to behave differently than Mexican women. The norm for Italian males is different than the norm for Indian males. An even simpler example often experienced in the United States is that boys are expected to be strong (limited expression of emotion) and girls are expected to be sensitive (emotionally expressive).
process of self-assessment-
Be engaged in the process of self-assessment. With each interaction, assess your role before, during and after. Here are some tips:
^Self-fulfilling prophecy-
The situation in which we make a prediction or prophecy that comes true because we act on it as if it were true.
Take a second look at your perceptions when they correspond very closely to your initial expectations; the self-fulfilling prophecy may be at work.
^Self-monitor-
The manipulation of the image we present to others in interpersonal interactions so as to create a favorable impression.
During an interaction, monitor your interaction and your behavior. Develop a plan for how you want to behave (communicate) and stick to your plan.
^Walk the walk-
During an interaction, play the role of a competent communicator. Smile, make eye contact, be assertive, do not interrupt, listen holistically, and respond appropriately.
Acting the part helps you identify with the part, and soon you will be the part.
Is Self-Concept Different from Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the measuring tool for the value we place on our role (our self).
If you consider self-concept to be peoples' objective assessment of who they are (their role), then self-esteem is the subjective evaluation of that role.
(Lesson 12)
Interspersonal comminication-
defined as messages that occur between two people who have a relationship.
The messages in that relationship influence it by helping to define, enhance, or clarify it.
Relationships can be impersonal, such as a stranger asking for change from a passerby, or they can be intimate, such as two close friends sharing a secret.
What is considered an interpersonal relationship?
Any relationship involving two people that interact.
Impersonal vs intimate interpersonal communication.
Impersonal
-A college student writes a blog about her latest blind date.
-Two strangers on a park bench discuss the weather.
-A shopper says "hello" to a cashier.
Intimate
-A husband and wife discuss having a baby.
-A boyfriend sends a "I love you text"
-A mother and daughter talk about adolescence.
Identifying goals for creating an communication improvement plan
Identify your issues-
identify your issues so that you can address them.
ex. One issue I have concerning verbal messages is that I tend to generalize and use the terms always, never, everyone, and no one. This can make others feel defensive. When you say to your partner, "You never take out the trash," this most likely not true, and your partner may become defensive.
To address this issue, it is my goal to stay in the moment. I will address the current situation, not past situations. For example, I can say, "It would help me a great deal if you could take out the trash today."
Reflect on effective communication-
reflect on effective communication and how you will practice it.
ex. I observed Sally providing nonverbal feedback when listening. She was nodding, smiling, and making direct eye contact with Stan. This was useful because Stan recognized that Sally was supporting his input, and he even stated to Sally that he appreciated her genuine interest in the topic. This seemed to foster productive communication as well as to support a productive relationship.
I will practice this behavior by providing nonverbal feedback when listening to my friends. I will let John know that I'm engaged and interested, and this will likely help him feel more appreciated.
Take stock in what you do well-
take stock in what you do well and then ask others their perception of that element. Then, determine how you can make the two perceptions more congruent
Sherona feels listening and responding are her strong suits. However, Ronald feels she tends to interrupt when others are speaking. She is now determined to listen carefully and wait for cues that the speaker is finished speaking before herself.
Interpersonal communication skills are
changeable
Tori wants to borrow his sister's car? What is the best example of effective communication?
Ask "Can I borrow your car to go take in a movie?
Being an effective communicator requires all of the following
integrity, practice, and self-reflection.
Tonya's interpersonal communication goal is to be a better listener. WHat is her next step in the goal setting process?
Turn her goals into concrete actions.
(Lesson 13)
Stages of a relationship:
^Building Stage
Most scholars agree that there are three steps to the building stage: initiating, experimenting, and intensifying.
Initiating-
This step is the beginning of the interaction. It entails small talk, quick interactions, and even brief physical contact like a handshake. It's primarily the step for letting people know you are aware of them and that you are a friendly person.
-Handshaking
-Smiling
-Remarking about the weather
-Commenting on objects, such as, "You have a cool car!"
Experimenting-
This step involves our investment for the purpose of determining whether we want to get to know the other person. Do we want to form a relationship with this person? By asking questions like,
"What do you do for a living?" and "What's your major?"
Intensifying-
the relationship begins to take shape. You spend more time with this person, you express emotion, and you express attraction.
-Spending more time together
-Asking for input from one another
-Doing favors for each other
-Getting to know the other's associations, friends, and family
-Traveling together
^Maintenance Stage (Maintaining)
A stage of relationship stability at which the relationship does not progress or deteriorate significantly; a continuation as opposed to a dissolution of a relationship.
Integrating-
The two parties begin to mesh and eventually become one. Each person may take on some personality traits of the other, and they are referred to as a unit by others.
-When social circles merge
-When friends become friends of the couple
-When best friends begin to speak or dress alike
-When we provide resources willingly to the other person, such as rent money or gas money
Bonding-
This step is the public display of the relationship.
-Couples getting married
-Best friends becoming roommates
-Business partners entering into a formal contract
Differentiating-
This step is when the bond begins to separate, and we develop more of an individual reference point again. This is also when partners begin to feel the need to be independent of the couple and to develop an identity outside of the relationship.
-Taking separate vacations
-Best friends quit living together
-Partners, such as group members, explore personal projects
Circumscribing-
This step is often the precursor to the dissolution of a relationship. It's when interactions may become fewer, and communication may be less fruitful or less often. Parties begin to withdraw from each other.
-One person might spend more time with friends than with the partner
-Friends might make other friends or do things with other friends
^Dissolution Stage (Dissolving)
The breaking of the bonds holding an interpersonal relationship together. (The end of a relationship)
Stagnating-
This step involves going through the motions with limited emotional engagement.
-Employees going through the motions of their job
-Couples who maintain routine with little enthusiasm
-Friends who hang out because it's better than boredom or being alone
Avoiding-
This step involves the pulling away of one party, limiting contact, or eliminating it altogether.
-Telling a friend, "I've been sick lately and haven't been in the mood to see anyone"
-Telling a partner, "I don't want to talk about that"
Terminating-
This step is the action of dissolving the relationship. It can include overt interactions, such as an employee quitting, or covert interactions, such as not returning phone calls or moving away.
-An intimate relationship can end with divorce
-A friendship can end when friends acknowledge they do not want to spend as much time together or no longer have something in common
three options for behaving in a relationship:
Adapting-
Adapting is considered the healthiest option. This is when you intentionally apply strategic methods for interacting and operating in a relationship, including all the concepts studied in this course. To adapt healthily means to
communicate in good faith and to personify the concepts of a competent communicator.
Ultimately, you
engage in interactions that produce collaborative outcomes that enhance the relationship.
Maladapt-
Maladapting is the most common option for communicators. This is when
you do the best you can, and go along with the relationship, although you are likely to experience side effects.
Maladapting is often the best any one of us can do.
The level of maladapting depends on your perception of your options and your perceived consequences.
"I hate my job, but it's a paycheck,"
"I stay in the relationship because of the kids."
Deal Break-
it is often the most difficult for people to invoke. Deal breaking is when you
exit the interaction or relationship to protect yourself, the other person, or the relationship.
It can be done on a macro level or a micro level.
(Lesson 14)
Defining Culture-
Culture is the way we believe or behave. It consists of values, relations, representations, and artifacts of a group of people. Here are some key elements that define culture:
Society
Because culture shapes society, it is important to be aware of the influence of culture and its relevance to our interactions.
Learning
Culture is about learning. We learn how to behave or what to believe by being a part of or observing a group. For example, the culture in one city is different than the culture in another city. In other words, each city operates, or behaves, differently. Furthermore, there are different cultures within the main culture. Although the main culture influences them, these subcultures operate independently.
Indivdual
Culture is also about the individual. Gender is a cultural element that is influenced by the main culture. For example, boys and girls are often taught how to behave or interact based on what the group teaches about attitudes, values, and expectations.
Psychological Factors-
Psychology relates to how your audience thinks and feels about the interaction. What might be the attitude or the investment in the interaction? Let's look at some specific elements involving
Audience Analysis
:
The process of analyzing a speaker's intended listeners. Analyze the audience in terms of its sociological and psychological characteristics and adapt your speech based on these findings.
Resistance-
An audience's willingness to interact in certain situations.
Is the audience resistant to the interaction? This could mean that a group of people is required to interact, such as during workplace training, or it could mean that the person is not willing to interact, such as going to a family reunion when most of the family is estranged.
Investment-
Related benefits and incentives for the audience
Is this audience invested in the interaction? Is there a part of the interaction from which the other party will benefit? It's of little use to meet with someone who is not willing or not invested in a production, interaction, or outcome.
Benefits might include
-An enhanced relationship
-Sustaining productive communication
-Meeting an objective
-Collaborating on goals
Knowledge-
What your audience is already aware of and what they should be informed of.
What does your audience know? This is not limited to information; it can also include what your audience knows about what will be discussed, your position, your intention, and your expectations. Helping the audience understand what to expect ahead of time goes a long way toward making the interaction productive.
This technique is also useful on a personal level. It's not productive or practical to call a meeting with someone and surprise her with new information or decisions.
(Lesson 16)
Groups-
A collection of individuals who are related to one another by some common purpose and in which some structure exists.
ex: 5 students working on a school history project.
Types of Groups
Brainstorming group
a common type of group in the workplace that is created to generate ideas.
Informational group
created to share information related to a particular topic or objective.
Learning group
created to foster education and to create understanding.
Focus group
created for research. Groups are created for the purpose of answering questions related to a product, topic, or question.
Problem solving group
created to help address a problem or issue. Often, group members are experts in the problem or issue and can provide relevant and useful information.
Task group
created to complete a job. Their sole purpose is to get something done.
Groupthink Phenomena-
A tendency observed in some groups in which agreement among members becomes more important than the exploration of the issues at hand.
Recognize and actively counter any groupthink tendencies evidenced in a group.
A group could presumably try to prevent the groupthink phenomena from occurring by avoiding stating preferences and opinions at the outset.
One of the most important qualities of a group leader is-
positivity.
A realistic group leader understands that
the group may need help staying focused.
What can contribute to effective communication in groups?
Critical thinking
understanding of subject matter
interpersonal communication
NOT individualism
True statements about groups
Interdependence can lead to frustration
There is usually a common purpose.
Structure tends to exist within them.