The interpersonal Imperative
Affection, inclusion, and control - the needs for why we develop relationships
Affection
to like and to be liked
Inclusion
humans tend to be animals that live in groups
Power/control
like to have power in our own lives and have power over others
Maslow (Needs)
Physical needs, belonging needs, self-esteem needs, self-actualization needs
Physical Needs
Air, water, food, sex (biological)
Safety Needs
Example: police, shelter
Belonging needs
feel included and have fun, communicating to meet new people
Self-esteem needs
valued, important to others, recognized
Self-actualization needs
defined as fully developing unique talents and capabilities; reach full potential
Linear Model (models of interpersonal communication)
First model 1948, A one-way process in which one person acts on another. Sender, message, receiver, "the magic bullet
Interactive models (models of communication)
Always drawn in some form of a circle, A process in which listeners give feedback, Communicators create and interpret messages within personal fields of experience
Transactional models (models of communication)
Emphasizes the dynamism of interpersonal communication and the multiple roles people assume during the process, communicators and receivers at the same time, includes the feature of time
Interpersonal Communication
A selective, systemic, ongoing process in which individuals interact to reflect and build personal knowledge and to create meanings
Communication Continuum
I-It communication, I-You communication, and I-Thou communication
I-It communication
Impersonal, interact with people as objects rather than individuals. Example: sales clerk
I-You communication
Majority of our interactions, Where we treat people as more than objects but we don't try to connect with them or know them
I-Thou communication
Rarest form of communication, takes place when each person in the relationship feels unique and cherished, very personal
Selective (feature of Interpersonal communication)
We come across way to many people to make relationships with all of them, we must be selective and make choices
Systemic (feature of interpersonal communication)
Anything that effects us is going to effect anyone that we communicate with, Noise-distrupts the message
Noise
Physiological noise, physical noise, semantic noise
Processual (feature of interpersonal communication)
always ongoing
Transactional (feature of interpersonal communication
Process between people, both parties share responsibility for creating meaning
Individual (feature of interpersonal communication)
We are all unique individuals, when we interact we want to keep that in mind
Personal Knowledge (feature of interpersonal communication)
Interpersonal communication fosters personal knowledge
Meaning created (feature of interpersonal communication)
Create meaning with relationships, content level, relational level
Principle 1: We cannot not communicate
Communication can never be avoided when we are around other people. Even when we choose to not speak we are still communicating non verbally
Principle 2: Interpersonal communication is irreversible
you can't unsay what you said. Once we say something to another person, our words become part of the relationship
Principle 3: Interpersonal Communication Involves Ethical Choices
What we say and do affects others: how they feel/perceive themselves/think about themselves/think about others. Since we can't unsay it, we need to think before we communicate.
Principle 4: People Construct Meanings in Interpersonal Communication
Meaning arises out of how we interpret communication and attribute meaning to it.
Ex: Black calls another black "Nig**" that's okay. White calls black that: not okay. It doesn't mean the same thing.
Principle 5: Metacommunication Affects Meanings
communication about communication; may be verbal or non verbal. Examples:
"I really didn't mean what I said. I was just so angry it came out"
Say to co-worker while smiling: "Oh, rats-you again!". they can see that you are joking.
Principle 6: Interpersonal Communication Develops and Sustains Relationships
Interpersonal communication is the primary way we build, refine, and transform relationships
Ex: Partners talk to work out expectations and understandings of their interaction, appropriate and inappropriate topics and styles of communicating, and the natu
Principle 7: Interpersonal Communication Is Not a Panacea
Communication is not a cure-all. Just as interpersonal communication has many strengths and values, it also has its limits, and its effectiveness is shaped by cultural contexts.
Principle 8: Interpersonal Communication Effectiveness Can Be Learned
Understanding and learning how communication works will enhance your effectiveness in relating to others.
Guidelines for interpersonal communication
Develop a range of skills, adapt communication appropriately, engage in dual perspective, monitor your communication, commit to effective and ethical communication
Define the "Self
A constantly evolving, processual understanding of oneself that grows out of the processes of interacting with others and society and internalizing values and view of our identity that others reflect to us.
Particular others
Particular people who are significant to us, tells us who we are by labeling us or labeling our specific behaviors
Book def: One source of social perspectives that people use to define themselves and guide how they think, act, and feel; people who are esp
reflected appraisal
Is our perception of another persons view of us
Identity scripts
Rules for living
Attachment styles
Patterns of care-giving that teach us who we are who others are and how to approach relationships
Secure (attachment style)
Positive view of self and positive view of others. Primary care giver responds to them in stable and loving way, can interact within relationships and are also comfortable outside of relationships
Fearful (attachment style)
Negative view of self and a negative view of others. Comes from unavailable, unloving or even abusive care givers, apprehensive about relationships, don't trust others and don't see themselves as lovable
Dismissive (attachment style)
Negative view of others but a positive view of self. Similar parent style to the fearful, response is different because they retain a positive self image, still negative view of others
Anxious/Ambivalent (attachment style)
Inconsistent and unpredictable care from their care giver, Positive view of others, negative view of self, inconsistent on their views of relationships
Everyone has an attachment Style
Most are secure, attachment styles tend to be persistent from childhood to adult hood, romantic relationships can alter attachment styles
The generalized other
Everyone that we do not know, this is generally society
Three ways the generalized other reveals its views
Interaction with others, through media, institutions that exist in our society
Western society generalized other
Race- share things in common, person will exhibit certain characteristics, gender - way that we categorize people, Sexual orientation - heterosexuality is the norm, Socio Econ class - the class people were born into
Physical self
athletic, what you can do physically
Cognitive self
Intelligence
Emotional self
Kind or empathic
Social
the roles that you play
Proving self concept guidelines
make a commitment to change, gain and use knowledge to support personal growth, self disclosure
Johari Window
One way to understand self is by information that's known to self and information that is known to others
Open information (Johari Window)
information that is visible or is shared easily
Blind information (Johari Window)
Information known to others but we cannot see ourselves
Hidden information (Johari Window)
Secrets we keep, things we don't chose to share
Unknown information (Johari Window)
Untapped potential, undiscovered talents, things that you will find out in the future
Perception
The active process of creating meaning by selecting, organizing, and interpreting people, objects, events, situations and other phenomena
Selection
WE select to attend to certain stimuli based on a number of factors
The qualities of the phenomena
Tend to be things that stand out to us
Self indication
We ourselves will draw our own attention to something
Our motives and needs
We attend to stimuli based on who we are and what we want and need at a particular moment
Culture
Certain qualities are valued more in some cultures than in others, based on upbringing and background
Constructivism
We organize and interpret experience by applying cognitive structures called schemata
Prototype
More representative example of a category
Personal constructs
A bipolar mental yardstick we use to measure people and situations
Stereotype
A predictive generalization about individuals baed on the category in which we place them. Can vary in how factual they actually are
Script
Guide to action in a specific situation, guide for behavior, normal behavior in a particular situation, scripts can be inaccurate
Interpretation
The subjective process of explaining our perceptions in ways that make sense to us
Attributions
Explanation for why something happened or why someone behaved the way he or she did
4 dimensions of attributions
Locus, Stability, Specificity, responsibility
Locus (Dimensions of attributions)
We will attribute peoples action to things that are internal or external to them
Stability (dimensions of attributions)
Has to do with someone over time
Specificity (dimensions of attributions)
Depends on whether the attribution is specific or global
Responsibility (dimensions of attributions)
Make attributions depending on whether we think something was in someone's personal control or outside of their personal contorl
Attributional errors
Self serving bias: we make attributions that serve our own interests generally
Implicit Personality theory
A collection of unspoken and sometimes unconscious assumptions about how various qualities fit together in human personalities, we perceive certain personality traits as going together
Guidelines for improving perception and communication
Recognize that all perceptions are partial and subjective, Avoid mind reading, check perceptions with others, distinguish between facts and inferences, guard against the self-serving bias, guard against the fundamental attribution error, monitor labels
Language evaluates
Language reflects and shapes perceptions, language can be loaded, language can degrade others
Language organizes perceptions
Language allows abstract thought, language can stereotype
Language allows hypothetical thought
imagine situations in the future, we live in three dimensions of time, we can foster personal growth
Language allows self-reflection
Allows us to monitor communication, allows us to mange our image (managing public face)
Speech communities
Exists when people share norms about how to use talk and what purposed it serves
Gender Speech communities
Socialization into gender speech communities, gendered communication at practice. Women show more feelings, men's talk is more instrumental
Guidelines for improving verbal communication
Engage in dual perspective, own you feelings and thoughts
Nonverbal communication
All aspects of communication other than words, even includes tone of voice and pitch
Similarities between verbal and nonverbal
Nonverbal communication is symbolic (arbitrary, ambiguous, and abstract), Nonverbal is rule guided, intentional or unintentional, reflects culture
Differences between verbal and nonverbal communication
Nonverbal communication tends to be perceived, more believable, is multi-channeled, is continuous
Nonverbal communication may supplement or replace verbal communication
repeat our verbal communication, highlight, compliment our verbal communication, contradict, substitute for verbal communication
nonverbal communication often established relationship-level meanings
Responsiveness, liking, power
Kinesics
How you hold your body says allow
Facial sensitivity
Disgust, happiness, interest, sadness, bewilderment, contempt, surprise, anger, determination, fear
Haptics
How we communicate with touch
Physical appearance
How we think about someone is how we see them the first time we meet them
Artifacts
Personal objects we use to announce identity
Environmental factors
Elements of setting that effect us and how we feel
Proxemics and personal space
How we communicate with distance, personal bubble
Chronemics
How we use time to communicate
Paralanguage
Everything in the vocal channel, except words, how we pronounce words, accents we may have sarcasm, tone of voice
Silence
Highly ambiguous, used to communicate a lot of different ideas, silence is usually considered to be negative
Guidelines for improving nonverbal communication
Monitor your nonverbal communication, interpret others nonverbal communication tentatievely