CB enters
Well it's about mother-fudging time!
Well if a certain someone would stop getting thrown in solitary, then another certain someone could come visit more often.
Sit down! Sit down!
The Doctor is In
Boy, is she ever.
Very funny
I thought you might like it. How have you been? How is everybody?
Everybody's pretty much the same. How are you?
I'm great. I'm doing really well. I've taken up knitting. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's been really good for me and I made you something!
Don't the handcuffs seem a little unnecessary?
Are you kidding? I love them! They're kinky and you know me...
I do
Besides, its for your protection.
I'm not scared.
Maybe you should be.
When are you getting out of here already?
As soon as I can say three simple words: "Fire is bad." But I'm not not in any hurry to rush out of here. They've got me on great drugs! Can I just say: I LOVE LITHIUM! You've gotta try it!
Don't say shit like that. There are people who miss you out there.
Those people out there are just as crazy as the ones in here.... Did that sound cliche?
Maybe not as much as "I love Lithium".
I miss you!!! (IDEA) I think you should burn something down and you can join me in here! We would have so much fun!
Ugh! Fire. Is. Bad.
Ha ha. (DOC) So what's going on in your life?
Not much. I'm failing like three classes. I kissed Beethoven. My sister's decided she's Wiccan this week. But that's just this week, I mean, she's gone completely...
WHAT?
Wiccan. It's some sort of spooky goth thing. I don't really get it.
You kissed WHO?
It wasn't a big deal. I kissed him last night at a party. In front of everybody. Although, it wasn't the first time.
Waitwaitwait. Slow down. Beethoven?! Skinny dorky Beethoveen that we all make fun of?
Yeah the same one you were in love with.
When I was eight! This is a joke, right? My brother put you up to this, didn't he?
Nope. True story.
Was it, like, a dare or something?
No.
You just kissed him? Out of nowhere?
Sort of.
And you're okay with this?
I think so.
So????????
So?
So, what does this mean?
I don't know
Did you enjoy it?
I wanted to do it.
Why?
Because I felt like it.
Major parts of this story are missing, CB. What HAPPENED?
Well, the first time we were in the music room.
At school?!
Yeah, and we were talking. Actually we were fighting and then we were talking and I just kissed him.
And the second time?
Party at Marcy's house.
And people saw?
I wanted them to.
Oh my God. I don't believe this.
Is it so hard to believe?
Yes!
Why?
Because you did something different! You've always been so....predictable.
Oh great. Here we go.
It's true! You know it's true. Kissing Beethoven is something that's so completely out of character for you. I mean for a straight guy to kiss a gay guy --- that's like.... something. That's... HOT!
What if i'm not straight?
Are you coming out of the closet?
I didn't say that.
But you didn't not say it either.
Not not saying something isn't the same as saying something.
No offense, CB, but I don't think you're cool enough to be gay. Don't get me wrong, I love you to death, but if I had to imagine you giving a shit about home decoration or musical theatre, I just don't see it.
Now you're using stereotypes.
Sorry, Miss Manners, but I'm in a bit of a shock right now.
We had sex, too.
Ex-fudging-scuse me?!
Yeah. After the party. We left and had sex.
HOLY FUDGING SHIT!!!! YOU'RE A HOMO, CB!!!
Just because I did something that I wanted to do doesn't make me a homo. I've smoked pot.....You set that little redheaded girl's hair on fire. Doesn't make you a pyromaniac.
Well, actually, technically it does.
Okay. Bad example.
Are you going to do it again?
I don't know. Maybe.
Do you have feelings for him?
I don't know. I've grown up questioning everything I do.... And when I kissed him, I didn't care or wonder what anyone was going to think, I just did it.
That wasn't an answer.
I can't stop thinking about him.
It sounds like love to me.
What do I do?
You have to tell him.
I can't.
Then resign yourself to being alone for eternity. That'll be five cents please.
I love it when we play doctor.
So I guess this means we're not getting back together when I get out?
Oh, so now you wanna get out of here, huh?
Fudge yeah! I didn't realize what I was missing! Oh, by the way. My brother told me about your dog. I'm really sorry.
Oh. Yeah. Thanks.
It's a shame I'm locked up in here. We could've cremated him.... Sorry. Bad joke.
Hey, why'd you do it?
What? Burn the bitches hair off? Torch her tresses? Light her locks?
Tell me?
Her hair is a symbol of innocence and my lighter is a symbol of corruption. (BEAT) God told me to do it. (BEAT) The devil made me do it. (BEAT) Charles Manson is just so damn persuasive. (BEAT) She is Joan of Arc and I am the townspeople of Salem. (BEAT)
Be serious!
Can't we just blame the government or the educational system? Puberty? P.M.S? My parents?
No.
Fine then. I did it because I felt like it.
That's no excuse.
Really?! You used it no less than five minutes ago.
Public displays of affection and random acts of violence are two different things.
Are they? (BEAT) They say that love and hate are the closest two emotions.
I'll bite. Why do you hate the little redheaded girl?
(BEAT) Because you used to love her.
You did it because of me?
Yes. I just love you so intensely that it borderlines psychotic. You're all I ever think of.
Seriously?
Nah, I'm just fudging with you. It's the lithium talking.
I'm gonna go now.
Wait! Don't I was pregnant.
Why can't you be honest with me like I've been with you?
I am. I was pregnant. (BEAT) Don't worry it wasn't yours. I had just gotten an abortion the day before and the next day in Biology, we were ironically learning about reproduction. I'm listening to Miss Rainey talking about fallopian tubes, the uterus, egg
Pregnant?
Pregnant.
You're fudging with me again?..... I gotta go. Visiting time is over.
I'm glad you came.
Yeah, me too.
Before you go --- I guess I don't have to ask how everyone reacted.
To your incarceration?
I meant the kiss.
Are you kidding? We hightailed it out of there so fast, I didn't even have time to look.
Smart kid.
Although, I think my sister mouthed "I hope you die" at me across the breakfast table this morning. But the clock is ticking and I guess I'll find out how everybody else votes tomorrow at school.
Good luck.
Thanks.
CB, I'm so proud of you for breaking through. For setting one foot outside the norm and giving no apologies. Promise me that you won't apologize.
I won't.
I have faith in you. (BEAT) And next time when you come, if you could just maybe stick a book of matches up your ass, I'd be your best friend forever.
You already are.
Hey, Blockhead! You forgot your scarf!
Oh, I almost forgot. This came for you.
Dear CB.
How unexpected to get a letter from you after all these years.
I thought you had forgotten about me.
I was talking to a girl the other day who told me of an incident that happened at her high school.
There was a boy.
The girl told me that no one ever extended a hand in friendship to this poor child.
She hadn't.
She thinks to herself, how differently things could have been through just one connection. No matter how great or small.
She lives where I live now. A place where there is not violence. Everyone treats others with kindness, love, and respect. If you can imagine such a place, I challenge you to do so. Think on it.
The only regret they feel now is the regret of not being able to tell you how they really feel.
They wish that they could say goodbye to the ones they left behind.
Even in nirvana...
They will always have this regret.