Angels: "Hallelujah!
HOPE HARCOURT APPEARS AT THE TOP OF THE GANGPLANK
Reporters: "Married?... Come on... On the level?
Yes it's true, I'm marrying Lord Evelyn Oakleigh. We are going to be married aboard ship and I'm very... very happy.
Mrs. Harcourt: "Thank you, Eli." BILLY ENTERS
Oh my god!
Whitney: "Sensational! Lets have a drink! Come along everybody!
Isn't Mr. Crocker going to join us?
BILLY AND RENO EXIT
HOPE ENTERS WITH A SEASICK EVELYN
HOPE ENTERS WITH EVELYN
Try taking deep breaths dear. That always helps me.
EVELYN GAGS
Maybe you should go lie down.
Evelyn: "And leave you alone? Wouldn't dream of it. Besides, I'll be right at rain as soon as we escape these swells.
But the sea's as flat as a pancake dear.
Evelyn: "Please, Hope, I wish you wouldn't mention food right now.
Sorry, I'll go get you a Bromo.
BILLY ENTERS AS HOPE BEGINS TO LEAVE.
Billy: "Hi, Hope, how ya doin'?
Hello Billy... Billy!
Billy: "You know you're beautiful when you're about to faint.
Billy, I didn't know you were sailing!
Billy: "I didn't, either.
Then what are you doing here?
Billy: "Hope, I stowed away to be with you. I couldn't let you go.
Oh, Billy..." (Repeated back and forth)
EVELYN GROANS
Oh Billy... This is my fiance, Evelyn Oakleigh.
Billy: "Me too! Did you have the sweetbreads? Best brains I ever ate!" EVELYN GROANS
Billy--
Billy: "I've never seen them served that way before, with jellied eels and headcheese.
Billy, stop it!
Evelyn: "Night all!"
EVELYN DASHES OFF AND GROANS
Billy, was that fair?
Billy: "...I didn't push him overboard, I thought I was being more than fair!
You're being terribly bad Billy. Why, we hardly know each other.
Billy: "Hardly know each other?
We met one night at a party, we danced, had a little too much wine. We took a little spin around the park...
Billy: "You call five hours in the back of a taxi a little spin?
Four hours.
Billy: "Five. Remember, you fell asleep after we--
I remember!
Billy: "And then I took you to that little cafe down by the docks.
We had breakfast as the sun came up.
Billy: "... Getting a little bungalow, raising orange trees--
Raising kids... Oh Billy, that was just a fantasy, things like that just aren't done.
THEY EMBRACE. SHE PULLS BACK.
Billy this is all wrong I'm marring Evelyn, nothing can change that.
Billy: "You can change that. All you have to do is say...
No! If you let me alone I'll make a scene.
Billy: "You love me Hope, you're going to marry me."
BILLY RUNS OFF
SUNG
"Cause you'd be, oh, so easy to love.
Billy: "Hey! Wait a minute!
HOPE AND MRS. HARCOURT ENTER
Offstage voice: "Pull!" GUNSHOT "Miss!
Really, Mother, we didn't loose all of our money in the crash. Why, if I changed my mind right now and decided not to marry Evelyn, we'd be fine.
Mrs. Harcourt: "You two haven't quarreled, have you? Oh, dear!"
MRS. HARCOURT BEGINS TO CRY
I'm going to marry him mother, everything will be all right.
Mrs. Harcourt: "Why, yes.
Oh, no!
Billy: "He's saving the last two places for you and your daughter.
Billy, this isn't fair.
Billy: "Hurry! And remember-- Not a word to anyone."
MRS. HARCOURT EXITS
I hope you're proud of yourself, Billy.
Billy: "... I've got you all to myself."
WHITNEY ENTERS
Not quite all to yourself. Good morning Mr. Whitney!
Whitney: "Morning, dear. I'm looking for a sailor.
SPINNING BILLY TOWARDS WHITNEY
"Take a look at this one!
Whitney: "... Confirmation of Amalgamated sales at once. You got that?" BILLY GRUNTS
Better have him read it back.
BILLY SMILES AT HOPE
Billy: "Gotta run. I'll see you later.
HOPE EXITS
Moon: "About five years, with time off for good behavior.
HOPE ENTERS
"Oh. my god! Mother, mother... Billy what have you done?
Billy: "Hope, I can explain everything...
I don't want to hear it, Billy!
Mrs. Harcourt: "... and Edna's really Mona--
I'll show you how he is!
RENO SPILLS HER DRINK ON HOPE
Oh, dear.
Reno: "How long are you going to keep up this stupid act?
I beg your pardon.
Reno: "You're in love with him-- why don't you just admit it?
I don't think this is any of your--
Reno: "Why, just the other night, one of the best looking dames I know practically proposed to him.
She did? Who was she?
RENO BEGINS TO EXIT
Who was she?
Reno: "Me."
RENO EXITS
HOPE BURSTS INTO TEARS
OLD LADY IN WHEELCHAIR ENTERS
I'm sorry, forgive me, I just can't help it.
Old Lady: "Eh?
I said I just can't help it... Oh, if only I had told him how I really feel.
Old Lady: "How's that?
I'm crazy about him.
Old Lady: "Eh?" (Second time)
I'm crazy about him!... Oh, this is tragic! I've ruined my life! I've ruined his life! And now it's raining!
THEY REMAIN ON STAGE
Mrs. Harcourt: "Hope! Oh, Hope!
My god-- mother!"
BEGINS TO PULL BILLY OFFSTAGE
Mrs. Harcourt: "Hope, there you are...
HOPE STOPS AND TURNS AROUND
Mrs. Harcourt: "Mom?
Billy, stop it!
Billy: "Kid, you're on."
BILLY PUSHES HOPE FORWARD
HOPE STARES AT MRS. HARCOURT
Billy: "Tell her baby, the world won't end.
I can't.
Billy: "All right, I'll tell her--
No!
Evelyn: "I say-- anyone have hot pants for a game of shuffleboard?
HOPE HESITATES, THEN CROSSES TO EVELYN AND MRS. HARCOURT
Evelyn: "What fun! Go on, darling!"
EVELYN PUSHES HOPE TOWARDS BILLY
HOPE BURSTS INTO TEARS AND RUNS OFF
Erma: "That's and expression!
EVELYN ENTERS, LEADING HOPE
EVELYN ENTERS, LEADING HOPE
Evelyn, I really don't feel up to this. I want to go back to my cabin.
Evelyn: "Don't be silly! Look! It's Snake Ears!
Evelyn, no!
Evelyn: "Damn!
Evelyn, stop it!
Billy: "You wanna make her happy pal? Do an imitation of me."
EVELYN GUFFAWS
You can be very cruel, Billy.
Evelyn: "That's how he got to be Number One!
HOPE PULLS EVELYN AWAY
Evelyn: "Lawdy, Lawdy!
Evelyn!
Moon: "There's definitely something wrong here.
EVERYONE CLEARS THE STAGE BUT HOPE
EVERYONE CLEARS, MUSIC BEGINS
SUNG
"Goodbye, little dream...
SUNG
Hope: "Little dream, Goodbye.
HOPE EXITS
SUNG
Billy: "All though the night.
HOPE ENTERS ON DECK
SUNG
"All through the night...
SAILORS AND ERMA EXIT
HOPE ENTERS
Moon: "Chinese honor sold!
No Mr. Whitney, don't pay him. No amount of money can settle this great wrong. You sir... You are a relative of Little Plum Blossom?
Billy: "We old poker buddies!
Then the only way to pay this debt of honor Evelyn, is for you to offer him... me!
Reno: "Sweetie, I thought you'd never ask!"
MRS. HARCOURT BEGINS TO CRY
Why, mother, what's the matter?
SUNG
Billy: "...That would bore me terrific'ly too.
SUNG
"Yet I get a kick out of you.