Committed romantic relationships
A voluntary relationship between individuals who assume they will be primary and continuing parts of each other's life. Committed romantic relationships include three dimensions: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Dimensions of Romantic Relationships
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passion
Intensely positive feelings and desires for another person. One of the three dimensions of enduring romantic relationships, passion is based on the rewards of involvement and is not equivalent to commitment.
Commitment
A decision to remain with a relationship. One of three dimensions of enduring romantic relationships, commitment has greater influence on relationship continuity than does love alone. Also refers to an advanced stage in the escalation of a romantic relati
Intimacy
One of three dimensions of enduring, committed romantic relationships. Intimacy refers to feelings of closeness, connection, and tenderness between lovers.
Primary Styles of Love (Hendrick and Hendrick's styles of loving)
eros, ludus, storge
Eros
One of the three primary styles of loving, a powerful, passionate style of love that blazes to life suddenly and dramatically.
-most intuitive and spontaneous of all love styles, and it is also the fastest moving.
Storge
A comfortable, friendly kind of love, often likened to friendship. One of the three primary styles of loving.
Ludus
One of the three primary styles of love, in which the goal is not commitment but to have fun at love as a game or a series of challenges and maneuvers.
-may also suit people who enjoy romance but aren't ready to settle down.
- Research indicates that more
Secondary Styles of Love ( (Hendrick and Hendrick's styles of loving))
mania, agape, and pragma
Mania
Passionate, sometimes obsessive love that includes emotional extremes. One of the three secondary styles of love; made up of eros and ludus.
Agapa
A secondary style of loving that is selfless and based on giving to others, not on receiving rewards or returns from them. A blend of eros and storge.
Pragma
Pragmatic or practical love. One of the secondary styles of loving, pragma is a blend of storge and ludus.
Stages of romantic relationship growth
- first is individuality
- invitational communication
- Explorational communication
- intensifying communication
- commitment,
individuality
each of us is an individual with particular needs, goals, love styles, perceptual tendencies, and qualities that affect what we look for in relationships. Our choices of people with whom to begin a romance are influenced by our personal histories and our
invitational communication
people signal that they are interested in interacting; during this stage they also respond to invitations from others. "I love this kind of music," "Where are you from?" and "Hi, my name's Shelby
Explorational communication
Focuses on learning about each other. In this stage, people fish for common interests and grounds for interaction: "Do you like jazz?" "Where have you traveled?" "Have you been following the political debates?" In this stage, we continue trying to reduce
intensifying communication
partners spend more time together, and they rely less on external structures such as films or parties. They may immerse themselves in the relationship and may feel that they can't be together enough
*Revising communication, although not a stage in the dev
commitment
relationship becomes a given, around which they arrange other aspects of their lives. Commitment also leads partners to invest more in a relationship, especially in terms of communication to maintain satisfaction.
Relational Culture
A private world of rules, understandings, and patterns of acting and interpreting that partners create to give meaning to their relationship; the nucleus of intimacy.
Placemaking
The process of creating a physical environment that is comfortable and reflects one's values, experiences, and tastes. Physical environment is part of relational culture, which is the nucleus of intimacy.
symptoms of decline:
-deterioration in communication
-destructive conflict
-changes in standards for evaluating relationships
-major transgressions
-inequality
-partner's reflections
Duck's deterioration phases of relationships
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traditional couple
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Independent Couples
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Separate Couples
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Mixed Couples
-50% of couples represent a meshing of two different types.
the most common mixed couple type is the separate husband and traditional wife.
love languages:
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love languages: words of affirmation
spoken praise and appreciation of each other.
"i love you"
"you mean the world to me
Love Languages: Quality time
undivided attention is one of the best ways you can show your love.
turn the tv off, lay the magazine down, listen and interact
Love Languages: Receiving gifts
making partner feel loved and treasured by giving gifts on birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and "no occasion" days
gifts don't need to be expensive. its the thought that counts
Love Languages: Acts of service
doing little acts that take some stress away from your partner
taking out the trash, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, washing dishes
Love Languages: Physical touch
nothing communicates love more clearly then for you to take the initiative to reach out and touch your partner
holding hands, kissing, cuddling
Duck's deterioration phases of relationships
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