Why do we communicate the way we do?
because of our self, our perceptions, and our emotions
What is our sense of self shaped by?
the labels placed on us by ourselves and others
What is our self comprised of?
our self awareness, self concept, and self esteem
Self- Awareness
the ability to step outside of your self; view yourself as a unique person distinct from your surrounding environment; and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, behaviors
Critical Self-Reflection
a targeted kind of self-awareness; practicing this, you can enhance your IPC
Self Concept
we watch and evaluate our own actions, and form a perception of ourselves
- often cause us to make self-fulfilling prophecies
Self-fulfilling Prophecies
predictions about future interactions that lead us to behave in ways that ensure the interaction unfolds as we predicted
-some set positive/negative events in motion
Social Comparison
we compare our own behavior to the behaviors of others
Looking Glass Self
I am who I think you think I am
Self-Esteem
the overall value, positive or negative, that we assign to ourselves
Self Discrepancy Theory
says our self esteem is based on how we compare to 2 mental standards:
1) ideal self: the perfect self, according to our own standards
2) ought self: the person others want us to be
We are happy and feel good about ourselves when our perception matches what?
our ideal self and ought self (when we decrease our discrepancies)
How do we improve our self esteem?
by reducing the discrepancy- reducing our standards (ideal and ought self)
What are the sources of self?
#NAME?
Gender (source of self)
comprised of social, psychological, & cultural attributes that characterize us as male or female.
-gender socialization
Culture (source of self)
individualistic: self achievement (ex- USA)
collectivistic: collective culture contribution (ex- Pakistan)
Family (source of self)
caregivers growing up influence your attachment style (avoidance, comfort)
Categories of Attachment styles
#NAME?
4 Attachement Styles
secure
preoccupied
dismissive
fearful
Secure Attachment
#NAME?
Preoccupied Attachment
#NAME?
Dismissive Attachment
- low anxiety and huh avoidance
- close relationships are unnecessary
- self reliant/ solitude
- seek out more casual intimacy relationships
- no strings attached
- won't address problems
- get out as quickly as can
Fearful Attachment
- high anxiety and high avoidance
- avoid relationships all together because they don't want to feel pain
-will seek out relationships where the other person is dependent on them completely, knowing they won't leave
Face
public self (maintaining this is extremely important in interpersonal relationships) -the way you want others to perceive you/ think of you
Masks
we wear to hide our private self
Embarrassment
losing "face" provoke this; shame, humiliation, sadness
Warranting Theory (online self presentation)
you have to consider the warranting value of online information that people give about themselves - is it supported by other and by evidence?
Low Warranting Value
info that was obviously made up by people; can't be supported offline
High Warranting Value
info thats supported by others and that can be readily verified offline
Interview test
would i feel comfortable sharing all elements of this presentation- profile pic, videos, blogs- in a job interview?
Social Penetration Theory
revealing the self to others involves pealing back or penetrating layers, involving 2 things- breadth and depth
Breadth
the number of different aspects of self revealed at each layer
Depth
how deeply into one another's self the partners have penetrated
The Layers of Self
include..
-peripheral
- intermediate
-central
Peripheral Layers
age, college, major, hometown, etc
Intermediate Layers
musical tastes, political beliefs, leisure interests, etc
Central Layers
values, beliefs, fears, self awareness, self concept, self esteem, etc
Intimacy
the feeling of closeness and "union" that exists between us and out partners
-intertwined with depth and breadth
Your hidden and revealed self deals with what areas?
Public Area
Blind Area
Hidden Area
Unknown Area
(Johari Window)
Johari Window
suggests that some quadrants of our selves are open to self-reflection and sharing with other people, while others remain hidden- both to ourselves and others
Public Area
aspects of your self that you and others are aware of.. everything you openly disclose
Blind Area
things about yourself that others are aware of but you are not
Hidden Area
your'e aware of it but hid it from most other people
Unknown Area
things you and others aren't aware of.. unconscious motives and impulses
-you can infer aspects of your unknown
- ex: how many kids will you have one day? (no one knows this for sure)
Self-Disclosure
revealing private information about ourselves to others
Interpersonal Process Model of Intimacy
the closeness we feel toward others in our relationships is created through two things:
-self-disclosure
-responsiveness of listeners to disclosure
Completely disclosing your self
#NAME?