1
Sometimes little things can hurt much more than big things. When someone attacks you with words, look for something inside yourself that sparkles.
2
The Authority of the Select Few - They're acting like competitors or big shots - If you don't know quite what to say, they may be withholding something, trying to make you feel jealous - They're withholding warmth.
3
Many people are not allowed to express anger - There's a little pain in it - So they try to get you going by posing trick questions, or falsely complimenting you - They don't know aggression is the cure for neurosis!
4
Loaded for bear and spoiling for a fight, he or she is a Chocolate Bully - They try to trick you, and laugh at you when you believe them - It feels like condescension.
5
When people bash you or attack your character, don't explain, don't complain - Get angry! - Express anger through your tone of voice - It's not, �Very funny, it's�Very FUNNY! - At first you have to be an actor. After a while your emotions catch up.
6
These people feel they're above it all - They're "divine liars." - They don't admit their dark side. The least you're putting yourself out, the more they'll respect you.
7
Some people use their intelligence in ways you would never imagine ... to hurt, humiliate, embarrass, and disqualify you - You feel you've been blind-sided.
8
First they say you're good, then they say you're bad, then they ignore you. What you really are needs nourishment, but it doesn't need approval.
9
They're using an Appeal to Ignorance - An argument based on your inability to prove the opposite - You feel they're patronizing, or giving you flawed advice.
10
They use Question Begging Epithets � intrusive questions, emotionally loaded words, controversial phrases, dyslogistic language (conveying censure), or eulogistic (complimentary) language. They're also coming from another direction - 3rd Party Interference!
11
They're like 7th Street Operators, rattling off one chummy thing after another. It's all glib posturing, and It's all about you - See how one-sided it is? Whatever they sling at you, sling something back!
12
They're pulling rank - They're very mean to people in irrational ways - It's like getting nibbled to death by ducks - They think they are far, far superior - No matter what experiences you've had, they try to hurt your feelings, or fill you with fear - People who try to be other than they are, never like people who are what they are.
13
Feeling threatened or abandoned, they suddenly turn on you - They cut short the conversation, or abruptly change course - It's a good time to ask for a raise!
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People who feel something is wrong with them want everyone else to feel something is wrong with them - Feels like they're giving you sneers & jeers for doing ordinary things - Whatever you are must be all right, because you're alive.
15
People feel reluctant to challenge smooth-talking or famous people - It's an informal fallacy of rhetoric called The Authority of the One - Competence in one field does not necessarily indicate competence in another.
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These people are jumping the gun here � Sometimes you just need to be left alone before deciding what to do, without any negative anticipation - You feel pressure for premature commitment - Don't let anyone trick you into changing horses midstream.
17
Bird-dogging & beating around the bush, they act perplexed, try to squelch your self-expression, or push you around by using indirection - What they're really getting at is, you're supposed to "take a hint.
18
When people are baiting you, slip under their radar - It's called, "dumbing down." - Let's put it this way ... They can't shoot you down if you're not all puffed up to begin with - Just act dumber and dumber, in sort of a friendly way - Using subtle sarcasm, don't take the bait!
19
Both love and hate are inside people, and it's best to be honest about that - Everyone's just as bad as everyone else, and until we die, we have to take care of ourselves, right? - Repulsive as that is.
20
Argumentum ad Verecundiam - They use free association and an air of authority to produce an illusion of proof - There's always going to be nincompoops - They talk a good game - They have no sense of truth.
21
a Fortiori Argument - (With Stronger Force) - They're saying if something is true in a famous case, it must be true, with stronger force, in the relatively mainstream case, which is a fallacy - They're just putting on airs -Pretending to be something they're not.
22
This is Intimidation and Lying - In third grade they say things because people say it to them, and they want to know how to answer.
23
This is Ambition and Assassination - Women who are very ambitious, and men who have latent homosexual tendencies, frequently refer to certain people as "assholes." They cannot see that people are different.
24
Corrosiveness - It feels like tension - They're always putting it on the other person. Instead of saying, "I hate you!" they say, "There's something wrong with you." After a while you forget.
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It feels like disparagement - It's detraction from the course of your life, or prejudicial slurs against those not present - the smarter you are, the more people hate you.
26
On the surface it's affectation & torture - Unfortunately, their ulterior motives have a way of highlighting intense bittersweet feelings in you, without any sweet fruit - Sometimes you just get the idea the other person is trying to control you.
27
But It's An Emergency! - How does a kid know if it's really an emergency? A family really should have an "Emergency Password," and without it, a child should practice being outrageously bad.
28
How's Your Status, Baby? - To hypostatize is to ascribe material existence to abstract entities, such as science and nature, making them seem more profound - For instance, "Let nature take its course.
29
So cool they can't even talk to you directly - They're playing, "Brush Off!" - How can you stay professional and courteous when other people operate outside the barrier? - There are fiendish ways you can use words to let steam out of your pressure cooker!
30
Marginalization - You get the feeling they're trying to paint you into a weird box - They're cunning � They can't see things three-dimensionally, but they scheme - They can see what's next, and what's after that.
31
People try to hit you in the imagination when you're right in the middle of things - They have no concept of show business, of entertainment - These are lessons in sticking up for yourself in rapidly changing situations - The real reason is ... Do you have the envelope?
32
In a way it's hopeless - It's the only outlet they have for anger - to disappoint someone - You're investing in this person the power your parents once held - You have to be prepared to walk out - Act in such a way to let them know you're not that serious about it - You shouldn't be so obvious about what's going to drive you crazy - It's good to get angry - If anything happens, you walk out.
33
Double-entendre - When one meaning of a word borders on impropriety and risk, you can reject the risqu� meaning by saying, "Just vicious." - You can accept the risk of further flirtations by saying, "Please help me!" -Do the scene poorly - Just walk through it - You have to know why you're doing it - You have to be able to explain it to yourself.
34
Racism and Superficiality - There's one thing you need to understand - Every white kid has some black in him, and every black kid has some white in him - That's the only way you'll get out of it.
35
Compassion is something that's inside yourself - Every now and then, when you see a beggar, say, "Turn on!" inside yourself, give them a dollar, then say, "Turn off!" inside yourself - You have the right to turn it on, and to turn it off.
36
The deceptive ingredients of Passive Aggression ...Ostracism, Feigned innocence, Wolf's clothing ....
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Then there's just plain meddling - "God bless you!"�Very nice. [That's always reassuring] Why shouldn't a person learn as much as possible about sticking up for themselves? [Also, Nobody sneezed, Touch wood! No kneeling! and Waste not, want not]
38
Bait and Switch - When someone flags a cab and says, "It's for these people over here," it's a danger sign � They like that - They like to be important - We're all islands above the sea, connected underneath by electricity!
39
Litmus Tests - They're really making you work, taking off on surprising tangents - On the other hand, maybe they're just trying to "scratch you" to see what you're made of.
40
Hypocritical people use disparaging tones of voice, implying some unspecified rule, to annihilate your accomplishments, dampen your glory, or put out your fire - Always isolating and pulling away, what they do is wing it at everyone else's expense - You get the idea they're bragging about their invincible ignorance!
41
This is the Dark Side & Intimate Details - At bottom, it's not that human nature is irrational; it's that human nature is founded upon lies - shadow and fog - If you're explaining, you're losing - "Bide your time and everything becomes clear,and you can act accordingly."�Terence Stamp in The Limey (1999)
42
They flip everything over & upset the apple cart - Working to preserve the memory of the worst people they ever met in their life, they endlessly lament or whisper taboos in your ear at inappropriate moments.
43
They try to yank you in all directions - They're judging you on (1) your performance, (2) what you do, (3) what happens to you, or (4) what you know - Instead, see yourself as having an inner entity that needs nourishment. Nourish yourself.
44
Everybody regresses a little bit when they're around friends - I would follow my hunches - You have to institutionalize certain people (in your mind) - Act as if they're your patients, or your wards - Be friendly, expect the worst.
45
Confounding implications - If you ask most people, "What's the opposite of love," they'll say, "Hate!" - People with autism would say something different - They'd probably say, "Being neglected.
46
You never get anything right with them - They haven't seen what you thought they might have seen - They're good at total ignoring - They're so stubborn and angry, they won't give in - They're very afraid of variations in mental activity - They don't want anything real.
47
Stingy Responses & Selfishness for you; Warmth & Generosity for someone else - It's double-dealing - They're just proving they can be nice, which is worse! - It's not bad to feel bad - You don't have to say clever things to have a nice life - Do as little as possible.
48
It's clear they're feeling resentment - A person needs to balance their capacity to help others with the aims and desires of their own life - You know they can't be happy acting like that.
49
Try to see they're pestering you - Asking someone why they are late is an intrusive question that does not show respect - Would they offer this discourtesy to the Crown Prince of Norway?
50
In the olden days, if people said certain things, you'd kill them; if you said certain things, they'd kill you - That's the world they come from - They have their own country - They think people live in caves and that's it. The only thing about me is, I'm a little bit crazy.
51
They don't try to, they actually, manufacture stress and anger in other people, while they act composed � even innocent � and philosophical - They just know how to push all your buttons - When you're around them, take your entire mind on a vacation.
52
Like in the movie, The Sixth Sense, they just see what they want to see - It feels like they're beaming down on you, overpowering you - Even so, you're still alive!
53
You feel drained of all your energy when someone uses hyperbole, or exaggeration, to attack you, or worse, to attack themselves!
54
False Accusation and Misdiagnosis � Sometimes people play out little scenes in front of you, their banter meant to humiliate you. �Really tragic. - If you treat yourself with respect, no one can actually attack you.
55
All they can understand is Rank, Class, and Money - They say other people have little jobs ... so they have big jobs - Ultimately, don't take shit from anyone.
56
Phony team players - "Every man for himself!" - use a laconic tone of voice - No one is consumed by hatred unless they are terribly hurt - They aren't very poetic - They're not interested in understanding - They couldn't care less about what a person is.
57
No matter what they say, you can break the spell � No matter what happens, you can dodge it - They just want to know if someone can cool it and play the game.