Interpersonal Conflict: Interpersonal Conflict Final Exam Flashcards


Usually entails licensed credentials and payment for services.
Focuses on all the issues at stake, both emotional and relational.


This is a dispute resolution option for those who are unable to
unwilling to engage in mediation; requires a systems level of thinking
and is designed to empower clients to handle conflict.


Helps the parties negotiate to reach agreement through facilitation.

The Kalahari bushmen follow a sequence for solving conflict that taps
the ______, or the power of the community.

Third force

Unfair bonding

When one of the parties succeeds in allying with the third party and
the resulting alliance lessens the other side's power in the conflict
and creates a new issue in the conflict.

The approach to negotiation assumes that the parties have both
diverse interest and common interests and that the negotiation process
can result in both parties gaining something.


_____ encourages new intergrative outcome because most conflict are
based on the perception of scarce resources; expaning the resources
alters the structure of the conflict

Expanding the pie

Jasmine wants to rent a house, but it's expensive. She discovers that
the landlord is concerned about the appearance of the property.
Jasmine offers a rent amount below what the landlord wants but agrees
to fix up the property both inside and out. Jasmine used _______


Which if not an element of principled negotiation?
a. find the legitimate criteria
b. attend to the relationship
c. attend to all elements of communication
d. analyze the FANTA
e. analyze the BANTA

d. analyze the FANTA

As we discussed in class, _____ is one of the main communication
skills needed to negotiate effectively.


Which of the following is NOT a misconception of emotion in conflict?
a. emotions are rational
b. emotions can't be controlled and will escalate if expressed or released
c. emotions hinder good decision making
d. emotions should be saved for "later"
e. If I "let go" of emotions I will lose control

a. emotions are rational

Affectionate, concentrating, and domineering are all examples of ______

feeling words

In the circumplex model of affect, emotions are classified as all of
the following EXCEPT:
a. pleasant
b. unpleasant
c. either/or
d. activated
e. deactivated


If an admin assistant says, "when you interupt me when I'm on
the phone, I feel rattled and belittled," he is using _______

the XYZ formula

This essential conflict reduction tactic developed buy follett
reduces the intensity of emotion in conflict by focusing attention on
the "sizing of disputes.


This type of analysis can be compared to a more detailed map


This concept suggests that assigning a beginning is less impoartant
than looking at the sequence of patterns in the conflict process

Circular causality

Everyone purposely sits on the right side of the classroom leaving
Bob alone on the left. Bob is the _____.

an isolate

Everyone purposely sits on the right side of the classroom leaving
Bob alone on the left. The class is _____.

the coalition

Hocker & Wilmot's two comprehensive guides to analyze your
conflict are:

the conflict assessment and difficult conversations guide

Ury's guidelines for getting to yes/getting past no

don't react, don't argue, don't reject, don't escalate, don't push

6 principles of emotion in conflict

1. conflict depends on enough emotional arousal to get the job done
2. emotional events trigger responses
3. intensity of emotion varies thru conflict process
4. we experience emotion as good/bad, +/-
5. we become emotional b/c something is at stake for us/our identity
6. relationship are definced by our emotions we express

Jones's three assumption of emotions are that it is ________,
________, _______.

-a felt, physiological experience in the boyd
-thinking & interpretation based on our appraisal of what's happening
-emotional expression involving verbal and nonverbal cues

The circumplex model of affect includes emotions varying in...

activation & deactivation, pleasant & unpleasant

T/F feeling words express emotion with conversation


T/F positive emotions effect conflict management


6 Adaptive functions of emotions

1. Motivation depends on emotions (we don't act w/out reason)
2. each emotion servces a function
3. personal situations trigger organized patterns of emotions (one
emotion regulates another)
4. people develop emotion behavior patterns early in life and
build on them
5. individual personalities are build on emotion & behavior patterns
6. emotions help us adapt to community life, but trigger difficult
behavior in reponse to certain triggers

T/F negative emotions serve no purpose


T/F all emotions serve some adpative function


6 breeds of negative emotions:


breeds of positive emotions:


T/F Mid-range zones of effectiveness focuses on the potential for
productivity and the level of focus

(potential for productivity and conflict intensity)

First steps to manage conflict: (Be a warrior of the heart)

don't lost heart
be aware
have compassion & stregnth
have courage

How to resolve the mid-range: zone of effectiveness

Be a warrior of the heart
Express anger responsibly
Use the XYZ Formula
Protect yourself from verbal abuse
Actively listen to emotional communication
Use Fractionation
Use positive Language to work with strong emotion

Three types of conflict on mid-range zone of effectiveness

unexpressed, regulated, and unrestrained

6 ways to constructively resolve anger:

use it to restore your sense of justice
direct at the correct person
reflect, calm down and think
use your best communication skills
be courageous
develop awareness of how people react nonverbally

Responsible expression of anger includes ______, ________, ______, _____.

acknowledging that you're angry (verbally)
distinguish between venting and acknowledging
agree you won't attack the other person when angry
work to find the stimulus of the anger

T/F In all cases the XYZ Forumla =
-when you do x
-in situation y
-I feel Z

It's also...
-when you do X in the sitch
-I feel Y
-What I want instead is Z

T/F the nature of emotion is (4 things)

emotions are multidimensional (cognitive, physiological, behavioral)
emotions vary in valence(+/-) and intensity
emotions come in primary and secondary (IDK what I feel sad?
angry? frusturated? IDK)
something emotions are meta-emotions (sad-mad)

T/F Macro-Level Analysis tells us the workings of entire systems and
subsystems in orgs, small groups, and families


T/F Systems theory describes works of the overall system/how they're
connected but doesn't show reoccuring communication patterns in the system

It shows both com patterns and how they're connected

T/F If you tag someone with the fault label you've managed the conflict

You haven't managed the conlict; you've created an enemy

Three key concepts of systems theory:

wholeness, organizations, and patterning

Sasha hit Henry so he tattles on her. But he threw dirt on her before
she hit him. This is an example of ________

Circular Causality

T/F Discriptive language is a basic tool for assessing without blame


Functioning modes, shaped by natural selection that coordinate
physiological, cognitive, motivational, behavioral, and subjective
responses that increase the ability to meet the adaptive challenges of
situations that occur over time is called _________


Gender differences in SADNESS =

boys express anger to cover up sadness
girls express sadness to cover up anger

Macro-level analysis

1. conflict systems occur in chain reactions (Bob blames Billy, who
Blames Bob)
2. Each member is programmed into a spectific role in the system
3. Cooperation is necessary to keep conflict going (healthy systems=morphogenesis)
4. triangles tend to form in systems when relationship are close
and intense
5. systems develop rules for conflict that are followed even if
they work poorly (often block collaborative conflict)
6. the conflict serves the system in some way

Morphogenesis Define

constructive, system-enhansing behaviors that initiate innovation and change

Complex Conflict Patterns happen when the structure has derived from
inductive approaches such as _____, _____, _____

identifying speciic system patterns, charting conflict triangles,
drawing coalitions

T/F Papp, Silversteins and Carter's System-Theory Analysis suggests that....
attention is focused on connections rather than indicidual characteristics
whole>sum of parts
each part can only be understood in the context of the whole
one change effects everyone else


Cuber & Haroff say there are five "stages" of conflict
in marriage

1. conflict-habituated (won't get anywhere)
2. devitalized (hollow shell of once-was)
3. passive-congenial (little conflict)
4. vital-intense (intense, mutual sharing of life)
5. total (share every aspect of life; complete each other)

4 Conflict Resolution of couples

1. non-intimate aggressive
2. non-intimate nonaggressive
3. intimate aggressive
4. intimate nonaggressive

Non-intimate aggressive

aggression without emotional closeness (non-satisfying)

Non-intimate nonaggressive

lack vitality, intimacy, and escalation. Don't contend with
escalating conflict though

Intimate aggressive

intimate behavior with aggressive acts; conflict results in intimacy

Intimate nonaggressive

small amounts of attacking/blaming behaviors

4 Stages of Conflict

1. members experience minimal # of conflict, communicate openly and
share power
2. person thinks significant conflict is a problem -- one pursues
while other distances
3. turbulence: high intensity and move toward polarization/can't
communicate properly
4. lost ability to work thru conflicts; 3rd party interaction;
possible divorce

Conflict Triangles

You experience a conflict with _____, but talk about it with ______

T/F Conflict Triangles only occur when two people feel they have low
power in the relationship

Conflict triangles occur when one person feels they have low
power in the relationship

Define Coalition

closer to each other than a single person

Why are coalitions formed?

B/c of shared topic info, suppport/understanding, sense of belonging,
gain power

T/F Heavy communicators resit being moved from central role yet
complain about the overwork for keeping the system together and happy


Interaction rules of Mirco-Level Analysis

-rules are prescriptions for behaviors (when dad is ;(, mom soothes him)
-rules are stated in prescriptive NOT EVALUATIVE language

System Rules

1. list explicit/implicit rules that prescribe behaviors in conflicts
2. no rules? (BS-- you know there are rules when one is broken)
3. generate rules for good/bad behaviors
4. go over list
5. code each rule (who made it up/keeps it going/enforces it
(think grandma's pot roast))
6. does it help/harm productive management of conflict

T/F Mircoevents are repetitive loops of observable, interpersonal
behavior with a redundant outcome


Conflict Assessment Guide looks at ______ (10 things)

the nature of the conflict, orientation to the conflict, the
interests/goals, power, styles, conflict and emotions, analysis of
interactions/patterns, attempted solutions, negotiation, and forgiveness/reconciliation

T/F Mircoevents are interactions that give information about other interactions


Difficult Conversations guide looks at _______ (3 things)

What happened (their story and your own)
The feelings (yours and theirs)
The identity (how does this affect you/them)

Define negotiation

settling a dispute by a discussion and mutual agreement without a
third party
allows conflict parties to state preference, restrain actions,
discuss relationship and increase others predictability

Outcomes of negotiations

a) problem resolution
b) partial solution
c) impasse
d) improved relationship as long as decisions are satisfactory

Negotiation occurs when.... (4 things)

a) people recognize their interdependence

b) willing to work with incompatible and overlaping goals
c) established power balance
d) able to talk in problem-solving way

What are the three principles of the conflict spectrum?

avoidance --{negotiation}-- domination


implies disagreement on content and uses disagreeable tone

Infante's Arguments

-state what you're claiming
-present evidence
-present reasons
(test ideas, not people)

Infante's Effective Anger

-use principles of argumentation with compassion
-reaffirm opponents competence
-let opponent speak
-empahsize equality
-emphasize shared attitudes
-show you're interested with opponents views
-use a subdued, calm delivery
-control argumentive pace
-allow face saving

Negative Views of Negotiation


Limitation on negotiation:

centers on formal negotiations, negotiating representatives, where
the beginning and ends of negotiations are delineated

Approaches to Negotiation:

competitive, integrative, bargaining

Seven Elements of Principled Negotiation

1. attend to relationship
2. attend to all communication elements
3. focus on interests, not positions
4. generate many options
5. find legit criteria
6. analyze the best alternative to a negotiated aggreement (BATNA)
7. work with fair and realistic commitments

Nonspecific compensation

one part is paid off with some form of creative compensation


when pple have two different priorities and meet in the middle

Integrative Negotiations

mixed motives, seperate needs and interdependent needs, joint
benefits for both parties

Competitive/Collaboration Modes

individualistic focus
exchange model

Cost Cutting

minimizes the other's costs for going along with you
(leave half-way thru work for ski trip so other person doesn't feel
like he's using a whole vacay-day)

Bridging example

rent apt but it's expensive, landlord wants to beautify; you promise
to beautify but at lower expense

Bargain range example

Buyers range: 250-400k
Sellers range: 550-600k

5 Core concerns for constructive conflict resolution

appreciation, affliaction, authnomy, status, and a role that works
for each party

T/F Unless you can specify communicative behavoirs that can activate
an integrative negotiation set, the principles (core concerns) won't
take you very far.


Integration practices include....

labeling the conflcit differently
(narrative/story questions not yes/no)
suggesting new rituals to do together
expanding the pie

Expanding the pie

encourages new integrative outcome because most conflit are based on
the perception of scarce resouces

What makes implementing the core concerns so difficult?

people have excessive self centered perspectives
strong negative emotions wipe out cognitive ability for integrative focus
automative ways of thinking interrupt processes
insensitivity to emotions
insufficient social skills and lack of mental focus/distraction

Explain coalition and isolates

who's in and out of the group

Competitive and Collaborative Approach to Negotiation

self-interest, competitiveness, rationality, individualistic-focused,
the exchange model

Transformative Approach to Negotiation

community concerns, cooperativeness, subjectivity, respect for
feelings, all core concerns

Interaction rules

usually implicit
tend to react the same to repeat conflict

In an argumant you do 4 things, they are...

state what you're claiming
present evidence
present reasons

T/F 3rd party intervention can be formal or informal


T/F Formal 3rd party intervention is when you help someone by
supllying cautions to disputes and guidelines for success


T/F Formal 3rd party interventions can be with mediators, councelors,
courts, or coaches


Third parties can be helpful when (give an example)

your roomate stops paying rent
a friend borrows without permission
someone won't return your calls when something's wrong
students are being harassed

Advantages of using skilled third parties

change style of expression in conflict
alter drgree of interdependence between the parties
change their perceptions/goals (make them compatible)
balance power
modify scarcity of resources
adjust perceived interference by opposing party

Conditions for informal help

make sure they're ready
do they want YOUR help?
what skills do you have to help
are you biased to one side or the other
can you say no when asked to help? (if you can't, you shouldn't be involved)

Unfair bonding

Mediator sides with one side of conflict aprty

Effects of siding

creates win/lost
creates a winner
increases # of conflict participants
unbalanced perceptions/complicates issues
increases the stake of the parties in conflict outcome

Cautions of informal Intervention

be certain they want help
avoid becoming the enemy
remain aware of coalitions
exit the system when work is completed

Modes of Intervention (from high to low degree)

organizational development
quasi-judicial bodies
informal tribunals
arbitration of all types
criminal and civil justice system

Three steps of formal intervention

negotiation, mediation, arbitration


(those unwilling for mediation)
systems thinking, empower clients to handle conflict, prereq skills
(emotional intelligence, listening, reframing, and supporting other),
coaches look to teach & solve problems & transform conflicts


(licensed therapist)
meeting individually or in group, focus on emotion/relation issues
with accords to topic, usually doesn't control the conversation


no power to render decision or impose solution, helps parties
negotiate, control process without interruption, doesn't control
outcome, not final judge, assumes conflict is inevitable and resolvable

Advantages to mediation

solutions most likely to be carried out
no loser/winner
parties looking for solution
they craft workable solutions
helps meet underlying interests
cheaper than adjudication/arbitration

Limits to mediation

if someone believes they'll win in court, they're less likely to
accept mediation
mediation may not be appropriate (if couples relations are weak/not good)
abused persona cant speak up
involvement may not be worth the effort (not super serious confict)

Victim-Offender Resolution

someone guilty of crimes:
recognize victims rights
allows offenser to take responsibility
provides options of restoration

Shuttle Diplomacy

back-n-forth or propsals

Stages of Mediation

entry, disgnosis, negotiation, aggreement, follow-up

T/F Arbitration is where the expert decides and
adjudication is where the judge/jury decides


T/F Adjudication is where the expert decides and
arbitration is where the judge/jury decides



no passive-aggressive tactics
arbitrator special training in areas
readily available
variety of content areas
resolves based on conflict
no relational/face saving


some mutual, some without consent
can sue other party
lawyers act it out (not party)
determined by negotiation
appeal possible
case->court when no settlements
power-balance mechanism
professional negotiators
back-up for conflict management
win/lose ALWAYS (encourages escalation)
conflict parties don't make decisions

Binding arbitration define

CONTRACT. When the decision is final

Non-binding arbitration define

No contract. Don't accept judgements

Know competitive vs Integrative
com. patterns