harsh startup of arguments by who was associated with marital instability and divorce
wife
how much data was needed for the prediction of divorce
4%
what does the pursuer do
brings up issiues in marriage and wants to talk about it
what does the distancer do
tries to avoid discussing the issiue
any statement that implies there is something globally wrong with knes partner, something that is probably a lasting aspect of the partners character
critisicm
what do criticism statements begin with
you always you never
criticism quite naturally elicits
defensiveness
any attempt to defend oneself from a perceived attack
defensiveness
defensiveness often takes the form of the what
innocent victim
defensiveness usually involves denying what
responsibility
any statement or nonverbal behavior that puts oneself on a higher plane than the other
contempt
mockery is a powerful form of
contempt
occurs when listener tunes out
stonewalling
stonewallers use brief _______ and dont vocalize
glances
when _______ stonewall it is indicative of divorce
women
best signal of divorce in the future is
contempt
the four horsemen happen
in sequence
the amount of contempt in happy marriages
zero
trying to induce _________ interactions with couples will fail
positive
when couples are not _________ it often leads to divorce
friends
too much positivity and no negativity is
just as bad
the four horsemen allow to predict divorce by __%
85
how negative things have to get before repair attempts start
threshold parameter
tells us how effective the repairs are once they are made
effectiveness parameters
if repair was ___________ than 83% of couples would remain in a happy relationship
effective
after effectiveness and repair parameters and four horsemen they found that they could predict the fate of __._% of couples
97.5